Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Alright folks, the first Saturday in September, the AFL Finals have ignited, and we’ve got the first of the revamped race days of the Melbourne Spring Carnival, because due to the Moonee Valley Racing Club shaking up the Spring calendar, the Moir Stakes has been brought 3 weeks forward out of its AFL Grand Final Eve Friday night slot and back to a Saturday afternoon for the first time since 2011, when it was still a Group 2 run over 1200m on Cox Plate Day…

Fun fact, Black Caviar won that race.

It also means that the Manikato Stakes, which has been the feature race of the Friday night before the Cox Plate since 2012, and was run on Cox Plate Day in 2022 and 2023, is now the feature race of the AFL Grand Final Eve meeting at The Valley for the first time since 2011 (Sepoy won that year), which means the Manikato-Cox Plate double is now achievable once again, and it is a fabled Moonee Valley double achieved only four times in history; Strawberry Road in 1983, Rubiton in 1987, Dane Ripper in 1997, and Sunline in 2000.

Also making the move to Grand Final Eve is the Feehan Stakes, which used to be the feature race of this Saturday every year as it carried a guaranteed spot in the Cox Plate, so instead we’ll have to focus on other Group 2 races such as the Furious Stakes, Tramway Stakes and the Chelmsford Stakes at Randwick.

Of course, there’s another great race meeting this weekend, held in the arse end of nowhere…

BIRDSVILLE.

Worst place on planet Earth to be a backmarker… apart from Moonee Valley on a Good 3 track.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and can he pull off another WINNER this week… well, he’d better, because that’s the only reason I keep him and his GOOD LUCK CHARM around the place!

P(r)ick No.1: Changingoftheguard (No.1, Barrier 4) in Race 4 at Randwick (SR4), 1:35pm AEST

2400m Listed Sydney City Lexus CTC Cup

Trainer: Kris Lees, Jockey: James McDonald, 58.5kg

Hello hello hello folks, it’s Craaaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, back and running for another Spring after the winter warm-ups, and what a sight it was to see Craig go ahead and win at Caulfield last week after he was finally deemed worthy of being picked by the third-most famous Craig in Australian racing!

HISTORIC, you could say!

Anyway, that was then and this is now, and we must look first at WOYAL WANDWICK, and the major staying race of the day is the CTC Cup in Race 4, and it features Changingoftheguard, yet another Irishman from Ireland imported by Lloyd Williams for an attack on the Australian Spring, and 1800m to 2400m second up with the class on his side screams something promising to me…

Still, it makes me wonder how they could’ve wound up with a name like Changingoftheguard, because his sire is the late Galileo, and his dam is Lady Lara, who could be named after Brian Lara’s wife for all I know, or it could be named after some 90m superyacht that never leaves port, or a niece of Princess Diana…

But I would note that Change Of The Guard was also a Steely Dan song from their debut album, the 1972 classic Can’t Buy A Thrill!

An album that contained three of their seven greatest hits, Do It Again, Reelin’ In The Years and Dirty Work.

THE SEX PICK: Zeitung (No.4, Barrier 9) E/W in Race 6 at Randwick (SR6), 2:45pm AEST

1200m Group 2 3YO Fillies Darley Furious Stakes

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Rachel King, 56kg

Why do they call it the Sex Pick?

RACE 6, NUMBER 9….

You know what I mean, and it’s not Valvoline.

The Oscar Piastri Pick: Piastri (No.10, Barrier 6) in Race 10 at Moonee Valley (MR10), 5:25pm AEST

1200m BM84 Ladbrokes Racing Club Handicap

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Michael Dee, 57kg

Let’s hope Piastri can win at Moonee Valley…

Because he sure as shit couldn’t win at Monza!

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!