Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Roll tape:

The Beastie Boys Pick: Right To Party (No.9, Barrier 8) in Race 9 at Flemington (MR9), 4:55pm AEST

1200m Group 2 Bobbie Lewis Quality

Trainers: Anthony & Sam Freedman, Jockey: Jye McNeil, 54kg

Hello hello friends, it’s Craaaaaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, having to shorten it up this week because I’m hitting the road like Russell Coight with my old beer pinching prick of a mate Crazy Colin for some country footy finals, so we’re doing some more musical tips this week, and I tell you what knackers, there may be a Group 1 Makybe Diva Stakes at Flemington on Saturday, but if there isn’t something I can make a musical number out of, WILL IT BE FEATURING?

NO, NO, SHIT NO!

So that said, I’ve gone to the race AFTER the Makybe Diva Stakes, that being the Bobbie Lewis Quality up the Straight 6, and I think the Beastie Boys may have had a hand in naming the horse with saddlecloth 9, because it’s a Zoustar mare out of De Groove, which somehow leads to one of the great hits of 1987…

YOU GOTTA FIGHT!

FOR YOUR RIGHT!

TO PARRRRRRRRRTY!

The Mike + The Mechanics Pick: Westriver Miracle (No.6, Barrier 8) in Race 9 at Belmont (PR9), 5:08pm AWST

1650m 72+ Rating Morley Growers Market Handicap

Trainers: Daniel & Ben Pearce, Jockey: Chris Parnham, 55.5kg

A horse who got a run a few weeks back and gave us a huge performance to run 2nd by a lip after being picked at 12/1, and this one comes to us courtesy of Mike + The Mechanics, the band featuring the anchor of Genesis in Mike Rutherford, because when you’re out at the mile against better horses…

All I need is a WESTRIVER MIRACLE, all I neeeeeeed is you.

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!