Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Another Super Saturday of Group 1 racing, with Group 1 races at Flemington (The Turnbull Stakes), and 3 Group 1 races at Randwick (The Flight, The Metropolitan and the feature Epsom Handicap), and this is the last Saturday before daylight savings kick in until April, and once again, why the hell do we still have daylight savings in this country.

It was designed to save coal during the wars, and the last time I checked, the last world war ended in 1945, and World War III is still a month away from kicking off.

Absolutely archaic.

Anyway, here’s The Doors:

P(r)ick No.1: Zardozi (No.10, Barrier 10) E/W in The Metropolitan at Randwick (SR8), 4:10pm AEST

2400m Group 1 Handicap

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Zac Lloyd, 52kg

My name is CRAZY CRAIG, and I don’t know what a Zardozi is, but I know what a Zamboni is, because Stone Cold Steve Austin drove one!

And that’s the bottom line, ’cause STONE COLD SAID SO!

P(r)ick No.2: Buckaroo (No.3, Barrier 8) E/W in the Turnbull Stakes at Flemington (MR8), 4:25pm AEST

2000m Group 1 Set Weights Turnbull Stakes

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: Joao Moreira, 58kg

I have three words to say…

BUCKLE UP, BUCKAROO!

Enjoy your SATURDAY folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!