Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

After the events of Tuesday, I decided to go back and look through the Picks of the Day for this year to see if there was anything interesting regarding picks involving Robbie Dolan, and sure enough, here was the first Pick from June 29, 2024….

HE BLOODY WELL PICKED KNIGHT’S CHOICE (Who ran 3rd in that race) AND FORGOT ABOUT HIM.

So that means in the last 2 years, he’s picked Without A Fight (Who won on June 10, 2023) AND Knight’s Choice during the Queensland Carnival, and promptly forgot about both of them as they went on and won the Melbourne Cup.

Maybe they won the Cup BECAUSE Crazy Craig wasn’t weighing them down.

Anyway, this is the last day of the Melbourne Cup Carnival, aka Stakes Day, officially known as CHAMPIONS DAY with the 3 Group 1 races; The Champions Sprint (The Darley Sprint Classic), the Champions Mile (The old Cantala Stakes) which used to be the feature race of the last Saturday of the Cup Carnival, and the Champions Stakes, which is the time-honoured Mackinnon Stakes that Bart Cummings used as a lead-up race to the Melbourne Cup so perfectly for decades…

Alas, we haven’t had that great 2000m race on Derby Day since 2015, just so the VRC can try and entice those Cox Plate runners into one last Spring run a fortnight later…

Still, looking at this year’s field that move has finally worked a treat, because this year’s Mackinnon is the best in a damn long time, as we get the record-setting Cox Plate winner (Via Sistina) dodging the Melbourne Cup for this race, joined by a last start Caulfield Cup winner (Duke De Sessa), a last start Melbourne Cup winner (Without A Fight back from injury), and a last start Empire Rose winner (Atishu).

Then you get the Everest quinella (Bella Nipotina vs Giga Kick) going at it in the Champions Sprint, as the Russell Balding-Everest form collides, and the Champions Mile features the horses recovering from the whiplash that Via Sistina inflicted in the Cox Plate…. so yes, we can see which race at Flemington is the red-headed stepkid of the lot.

Other than that, Rosehill has the Hot Danish Stakes, the Five Diamonds and the Golden Gift, and Ascot has the feature Group 2 Lee Steere Stakes, the primary lead-up race to the Railway Stakes in a fortnight, which does seem ironic because it used to be on the same day as the Railway Stakes… which itself used to be on the same day as the Perth Cup.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and you wouldn’t believe those two lunatics – NEITHER OF THEM backed a winner on Melbourne Cup Day… and yet they made that much cash from Okita Soushi getting a place in the Melbourne Cup that it was their best Cup Day in 4 years!

P(r)ick No.1: Kinesiology (No.7, Barrier 1) in Race 3 at Flemington (MR3), 1:50pm AEDT

2600m Group 3 Quality Queen Elizabeth Stakes

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: Damian Lane, 54kg

Kinesiology was scratched from Tuesday’s second-best staying race at Flemington to focus on this race, so you’d think Waller would know what he was doing, unlike when he’s deciding what jockeys to put on his Cup horses…

Fair dinkum, how did James McDonald not get a ride after seeing some of the shit that got dished up in the saddle!

Kinesiology is the study of human movement.

You know who will forever be a great study of Kinesiology?

Ray Gun.

The Black Sabbath Pick: Iron Man (No.3, Barrier 5) in Race 9 at Rosehill (SR9), 5:25pm AEDT

1200m BM78 Petaluma Handicap

Trainer: Edward O’Rourke, Jockey: Molly Bourke (a2), 59kg

Off the one-week back-up after getting done by Spanish Fox in a close finish, but Ed O’Rourke obviously needs the money to pay for dinner on Saturday night, so he put the 2-kilo claiming apprentice on and left Tyler Schiller to float in the cold, but it probably won’t matter who the jockey is…

BECAUSE THEY’RE RIDING IRON MAN!

QUE THE MUSIC, OZZIE OSBORNE!

I had to look up what the runner comments were from Tony Kneebone at Best Bets, and it simply said this:

Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all
Or if he moves, will he fall?

Is he alive or dead?
Has he thoughts within his head?
We’ll just pass him there
Why should we even care?

The Andy Griffith Pick: Magnificent Andy (No.7, Barrier 1) E/W in Race 8 at Ascot (PR8), 5:10pm AWST (8:10)

1400m Group 2 WFA Lee Steere Stakes

Trainer: Stephen Miller, Jockey: Brad Parnham, 59kg

It’s convenient that Ascot is next to the Swan River… so Magnificent Andy can bring his fishing pole and we can go and meet him at the fishing hole.

Crazy Craig’s Crazy Crappy Group 1 Value Picks

The Champions Sprint: Giga Kick (No.1)

The Champions Mile: Fangirl (No.10) E/W

The Champions Stakes: Via Sistina (No.10)…. because $1.55 looks like overs if she holds her Cox Plate form.

Enjoy your Saturday folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!