Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Alright folks, this weekend marks the return of 2023 Caulfield Cup + Melbourne Cup winner Without A Fight after 13 months away as he goes around at Sha Tin on Sunday, while more importantly Saturday sees the last Group 1 of the year in Australia, the Northerly Stakes at Ascot, formerly the Kingston Town Classic, formerly the Fruit N Veg Stakes, formerly the Winfield Stakes, formerly the Western Mail Classic.

Other races this weekend include the feature Ballarat Cup in the Victorian Goldfields, a couple of Listed races from Eagle Farm, and some boring meeting at Rosehill, although apparently the only interesting meeting regarding Rosehill is the one Chris Minns was having with ATC corporate chief Steve McMahon in October 2023.

Who’d have thought it, a dodgy premier of New South Wales… Neville Wran would be calling him a lightweight.

Anyway, never mind the bollocks, here’s Crazy Craig!

P(r)ick No.1: Pharari (No.4, Barrier 1) in Race 4 at Ballarat (MR4), 1:55pm AEDT

1200m 3+4YO Eureka Stockade

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Dylan Browne McMonagle, 58kg

Hello hello folks its’ Craaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and wouldn’t you know it we’re in the festive season, and this year I decided to do a SCRATCHIE ADVENT CALENDAR!

Yes, I’ve been giving them out to the down on their luck in Bairnsdale since Sunday, and what a great concept it is… a Scratchie a day for 25 days, with the chance of winning enough cash to pay for an actual advent calendar!

How crazy is that!

Anyway, I’ll start off at Ballarat on Ballarat Cup day, and I think early on we could see the only win for a Prancing Horse this weekend, as PHARARI goes around a good favourite in Race 4, while the lesser Prancing Horse tries to win in Abu Dhabi, and if Ciaron Maher’s prancing horse doesn’t win, I’ll quote this great scene from Rush:

“Oh, you can’t say that!”

“Why not?”

“It’s a Pharari!”

“It’s a SHITBOX!“

The Robert Redford Pick: Redford (No.3, Barrier 13) E/W in Race 7 at Eagle Farm (BR7), 3:52pm AEST (4:52)

1400m 3-4YO Set Weights The Star Gateway

Trainer: Stuart Kendrick, Jockey: James Orman, 59kg

A horse named after the Sundance Kid himself!

P(r)ick No.3: Sunlit Fresco (No.12, Barrier 12) E/W in Race 9 at Ascot (PR9), 5:30pm AWST (8:30)

1100m 60+ Rating

Trainer: Tim Crosby, Jockey: Brad Parnham, 55.5kg

If you’re going for Sunlet Fresco

Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair

If you’re going for Sunlet Fresco

You’re going to meet some crazy people there

Northerly Stakes Pick: Enjoy a succulent Chinese meal with Democracy Manifest

Enjoy your Saturday folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!