Ah December 21, the longest day of the year, so how appropriate that I bring you the shortest report of the year.

Anyway folks, this weekend we celebrate a day of pre-Festivus racing, before some day of gift giving on the 25th, and there’s a couple of slightly decent races, namely the Bernborough Plate and the BJ McLachlan at Eagle Farm as the Magic Millions draws ever closer, the Pakenham Cup from out in the sticks of rural Melbourne, and the Group 2 Ted Van Heemst at Ascot, which is the last meeting at Ascot in 2024, being the last major lead-up race to the Perth Cup on New Year’s Day 2025.

On another note, this year at Pakenham they’ve also got a new race called The Supernova, and unfortunately for legal reasons, they couldn’t call it the Champagne Supernova.

Now it’s on to Crazy Craig, and obviously with it being Christmas and all, and seeing as he loves playing Elvis Presley, I figured we’d dive straight into 1957 and Elvis’ Christmas Album, still the greatest selling Christmas album in human history, and pound-for-pound, what was the best song off that album?

Here Comes Santa Claus… right down Santa Claus Lane!

Nadal? I thought he retired.

Nadal (No.6, Barrier 12) in Race 8 at Pakenham (MR8), 4:20pm AEDT

1400m SW+P Sportsbet The Supernova

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Ethan Brown, 58.5kg

Hello hello folks it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, enjoying the last week before the festive season is mercifully put to bed with a tranquiliser dart, which will probably be the same way Crazy Colin departs the earth when he commits one final act of theft against the local bottle shop!

Still, I think Colin might survive a shot of elephant tranquiliser with the amount of piss he drinks!

Anyway, this week’s feature Victorian race meeting is at Pakenham, which many people don’t know is so far away from Melbourne that it’s pretty much West Bairnsdale, and I’m going to the race before the Pakenham Cup, which just happens to be the old Champagne Supernova, and we’ve got an appearance from the second greatest left-hander in the history of tennis, after Rocket Rod Laver…

NADAL.

And let me tell you, if Nadal wins this race, it’ll be…

Ombleible.

I think there’s a bit of similarities… Nadal was more successful after he lost his hair, and Nadal the racehorse was more successful after he lost his nuts!

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: Heman (No.11, Barrier 4) E/W in Race 10 at Eagle Farm (BR7), 5:50pm AEST

1200m SW Ladbrokes Class 3 Plate

Trainers: Chris & Corey Munce, Jockey: Martin Harley, 57kg

Another great cartoon from me childhood… HEMAN, appropriately sired by I Am Invincible!

I wonder if Martin Harley holds his whip to the sky before the race, then the horse will turn into Cringer the Battle Cat.

Thanks folks, this has been Crazy Craig saying Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Happy Festivus for the rest of us!