Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Cue the music:

The Duran Duran Pick: (Hungry like the) Wolfy (No.2, Barrier 6) E/W in Race 5 at Flemington (MR5), 2:30pm AEDT

1200m BM70 VRC Summer Fun Sprint

Trainer: Nick Ryan, Jockey: Ethan Brown, 60.5kg

Hello knackers, Crazy Craig here, and as I try and talk Crazy Colin into backing the Hobart Hurricanes to win the Big Bash League, here’s a p(r)ick brought to you by the greatest boyband of the 1980s…. DURAN DURAN!

In touch with the ground
I’m on the hunt, I’m after you

Smell like I sound, I’m lost in a crowd
And I’m Hungry like the Wolfy!

Straddle the line in discord and rhyme
I’m on the hunt, I’m after you
Mouth is alive, with juices like wine
And I’m Hungry like the Wolfy!

Did you know that if your surname is Taylor, there’s a 60% chance you were in Duran Duran.

Enjoy your Saturday folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!