Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

What a scene last week, as Crazy Craig put one bet up as he couldn’t be bothered posting two…

And that bet came good at 12/1.

Sometimes betting just doesn’t make sense.

Anyway friends, we have a fairly dull end to the month of January with the Australia/Invasion Day long weekend on show, featuring a dodgy meeting at Sandown (Due to Caulfield nearly burning to the ground) with the Group 3 Manfred Stakes and the Blue Diamond Previews as the juvenile season kicks along, while Morphetville has a listed race that I know nothing about, the Sunshine Coast has their annual Cup meeting, and Ascot hosts the Scenic Blast Stakes, named in recognition of the Australian Champion Racehorse of 2008/09 and one of the select group of Australian sprinters who conquered Royal Ascot.

Although, the problem for Ascot is that nobody will be watching the races at that hour, because you’ve got the Australian Open Women’s Final, plus the Women’s Ashes… speaking of which, how piss funny was it watching the English run off like the Road Runner when they were ahead on Duckworth-Lewis, then the second it pissed down even harder during the last over they wanted to stay out and cracked it when they realised the match was over.

Oh well, at least they got the moral victory, the kind of victory the English covet the most.

So yes, in short this weekend is so boring that the likes of Blake Shinn and Craig Williams decided to go to New Zealand and accept rides in the Karaka Millions at Ellerslie.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and when you actually pull your finger out and find us a winner, you definitely earn your theme music to kick start Saturday!

P(r)ick No.1: Aspen Colorado (No.9, Barrier 2) in Race 7 at Sandown (MR7), 3:40pm AEDT

1600m BM84 The Mary Bell

Trainer: Lindsey Smith, Jockey: Fred Kersley, 55kg

Hello hello friends it’s Crazy Craig, TBFB, dropping notes at the Safeway 24/7 after shitting it in with that brilliant Duran Duran Pick last week…

Just remember, 1 out of 20 is still better than 0 out of 19!

Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any Duran Duran related horses this week, so I’ve decided to go somewhere different.

Someplace warm.

A place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Copastrono!

I’m talkin’ about a little place called ASPEN.

Then again, I dunno, the French are assholes!

The Alannis Morissette Pick: Oughton (No.2, Barrier 10) E/W in Race 8 at the Sunshine Coast (BR8), 4:27pm AEST

1400m Listed Sunshine Coast Cup

Trainer: Melissa Kelly, Jockey: Justin Huxtable, 59.5kg

An absolute belter from Jagged Little Pill… of course, it’s the 30th anniversary of that belter of an album this year!

And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you’d hold me until you died
‘Til you died, but you’re still alive

And I’m here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair, to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you Oughton know!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!