Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

The first day of February, and it’s pretty much like January, with a great mix of horrific heat and enough rain to make you think God really was getting revenge for the Mardi Gras.

Now, looking at the races this week, Rosehill hosts some Group 3 2YO races before the Inglis Millennium next week, Sandown hosts the Group 3 Chairman’s Stakes, yet another dull 2-year-old race, and the Group 3 Bellmaine Stakes for the mares, and we now have just 1 week until the first Group 1 of 2025 in the CF Orr Stakes, and even a week out they still have no idea if the race will remain at Caulfield or be shifted to Sandown due to the fire at The Heath in December.

If they really wanted to make a neutral decision, they’d shift it to that deadshit shithole that is Mornington racecourse.

Anyway, here’s Elvis Presley:

The Lethal Leigh Matthews Pick: Lethal Thoughts (No.7, Barrier 2) in Race 10 at Sandown (MR10), 5:35pm AEDT

1400m BM84 Handicap

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Thomas Stockdale, 57kg

Hello hello folks, it’s Craaaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, back and ready to rumble on another Saturday, and it’s the 1 pick this week because I can’t be buggered watching the races, and we’ve gone allll the way to the last race at Sandown, where I’ve gone for a horse 3rd Up by the name of Lethal Thoughts, which made me think…

What number did Lethal Leigh Matthews wear for the best parts of his career?

NUMBER 3.

Look at that – an OMEN.

Of course, it’d be a greater omen if he was given saddlecloth 3 with Barrier 3, but instead we were let down by him drawing Barrier 2, because you’d expect a horse like Lethal will be chucking some elbows out on a field full of Neville Bruns lookalikes, so on an unrelated note connected to the name, here’s a great Lethal Thought after Justin Leppitsch tried being a smartarse after the Brisbane Lions completed the Threepeat in the 2003 Grand Final, which goes something like this…

“Geez, you’d be nothing without us, Leigh.”

“You’re right Leppa, without you guys I’d only be the Player of the Century.”

And that’s a certified FACT.

Enjoy your Saturday folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!