Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

After a few weeks in hiatus due to various unrelated events in Bairnsdale, none of which involve a Cyclone we are back with Crazy Craig’s rubbish for this epic Victorian long weekend edition of Super Saturday, featuring the Group 1 races at Royal Randwick, a day that used to be held at Canterbury considering you have the Randwick Guineas (Formerly the Canterbury Guineas) and the Canterbury Stakes, marking the start of the 3YO Triple Crown season, and the dreaded All-Star Mile from Flemington, and this is the first year that the All-Star Mile has been classified as a Group 1, and my goodness didn’t they get the entires coming in like seagulls… all of 7 ENTRIES.

What a shithouse race that peaked and tanked faster than the Adelaide Football Club under Don Pyke.

Other than that, there’s the Bunbury Cup meeting in the South West of WA on State Election Day, forcing the Ascot 1000 Guineas meeting to be run on the Sunday, a day that will also feature the Canberra Cup, while the South Australians are gearing up for the Adelaide Cup on Monday, a great time-honoured race that upholds the great history of the 2-mile classic staying race, alongside the Sydney Cup and the Melbourne Cup, so much so that even the Brisbane Cup changed back to 3200m a few years ago, to the delight of dozens.

On that note, who was the last semi-decent winner of the Adelaide Cup… Subzero?

Anyway, here’s Crazy Craig, alongside Elvis Aaron Presley!

P(r)ick No.1: Middle Earth (No.3, Barrier 4) E/W in Race 6 at Flemington (MR6), 2:55pm AEDT

2000m SWP TAB Australian Cup Prelude

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Mark Zahra, 57.5kg

Hello hello friends it’s Craaaaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and we’re back and rumbling I’ve spent the last week sandbagging the house getting ready for the incoming deluge…

Nothing to do with Cyclone Alfred, it’s the deluge of shit that’ll come from Crazy Colin’s mouth when he marches in celebrating another winner!

So on that note, I’d better try and one-up the bastard before he returns the favour and starts dropping $50 notes in front of prams, and we’ll start off at Flemington in the race BEFORE the No-Star Mile, and a quick assessment of the field doesn’t quite lead me to Duke De Sessa, it sees me leading towards one of the other of Ciaron Maher’s random 4 horses in the field, and it’s the British horse from Britain, making its first start in Australia, named after a magical kingdom that can only be found in New Zealand…

MIDDLE EARTH.

That reminds me… THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD!

P(r)ick No.2: Asterix (No.4, Barrier 3) E/W in Race 9 at Randwick (SR9), 5:10pm AEDT

2000m Listed Quality Randwick City Stakes

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: James McDonald, 58kg

Here we go at Woyal Wandwick, completely bypassing the Canterbury Guineas and the Canterbury Stakes because as everybody knows I’m the polar opposite of a Group 1 operator, and instead we’ll skip all the way to the end with the Randwick City Stakes as the two Kiwi giants are together to pay tribute to Rene Goscinny’s Gaulish hero, 3rd Up after the Parramatta Cup against the Roman legions of Waterhouse and Bott, and considering he’s got the name Asterix, I hope he’s got a stablemate called Obelix…

Actually, when you look at that photo, Asterix looks like a bit like Carl Ditterich after he went to Melbourne!

Crazy Crappy Group 1 Non-Collects

All-Star Mile: Another Wil

Randwick Guineas: Broadsiding (Duh)

Canterbury Stakes: Here To Shock

Enjoy your Saturday folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!