Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

You know, reading through the drivel that the Daily Mail posts, every now and then you find something that confirms that leopards don’t change their spots, and this was today’s confirmation, courtesy of a jockey who knew how to pilot a Group 1 winner, but had thin air between his ears… of course, I’m talking about Danny Nikolic:

Don’t send him to jail for attempted thievery, send him to jail for a run of stupidity that stretches all the way back to when he threatened Terry Bailey at Seymour and ended his riding career there and then.

Keep your eyes on the road, Danny.

As for the races this weekend, we have another great weekend to end March, with the Tancred Stakes meeting at Rosehill (The winner gets their silks painted on the Rosehill winners’ post), and the second edition of the revamped Australian Cup meeting at Flemington, and the great history lesson for this week is that for 100 years the Australian Cup was run over 3600 metres, dwarfing the Melbourne Cup for distance, before it was eventually dropped down to 2000 metres by 1973, after which the cream of the crop started featuring in the race.

Of course, this year marks 20 years since Makybe Diva managed to win both the Australian Cup and the Tancred Stakes in the same year, winning the Australian Cup in a course record 1.58.729, a record that still stands 20 years later, and in the Tancred she ran straight over the top of the great frontrunner Grand Armee, winning a great WFA double that only Duais in 2022 has done since, and with both races on the same day it’s a record that will stand for many years to come.

Other noteworthy races include the other Group 1 at Rosehill, the Vinery Stud Stakes for the fillies, plus the Tulloch, the Neville Sellwood and the Emancipation Stakes for the horses going to the old AJC Derby next week at Randwick, plus the Roy Higgins at Flemington, and a whole bunch of other dodgy races that I’ll forget about.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and who better to ask for miracle from the lord than through his biggest living fan… Sir Cliff Richard!

P(r)ick No.1: Alabama Lass (No.6, Barrier 4) in Race 7 at Flemington (SR7) 3:40pm AEDT

1100m Listed HKJC World Pool Sprint Classic

Trainers: Ken & Bev Kelso, Jockey: Craig Williams, 57kg

Hello hello folks it’s Craaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and what a lovely day to end Mad March, as Rosehill finishes under 8 feet of water and Melbourne has no idea what it’s doing…

Par for the course if I say so myself!

Now, we’ve got six of one and half a dozen of the other with the two major race meetings, so we’ll start off with Flemington, and the race before the Australian Cup with Forrest Gump’s favourite horse Alabama Lass, and all the signs are there for a big run up the Flemington Straight, going in 3rd Up off a win across the ditch, and now I’m left with the question…

Should we go with Sweet Home Alabama Lass, or is the Alabama Lass Song by The Doors?

Oh, don’t ask why, oh, don’t ask why!

Still, we should remember that song was written by Bertolt Brecht… it’s like finding out that the Bee Gees wrote Islands in the Stream!

P(r)ick No.2: Harlem Queen (No.14, Barrier 15) E/W in Race 5 at Rosehill (SR5), 2:50pm AEDT

1500m Group 2 Fillies & Mares Emancipation Stakes

Trainer: Nathan Doyle, Jockey: Taylor Marshall, 53kg

On to Sin City we rumble, and we’ve got the Angel of Harlem herself, Harlem Queen… I think U2 wrote a song about our new subject of fascination, all the way back in 1988 on Rattle and Hum!

“It was a cold and wet April day, when we touched the ground at Botany Bay.”

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!