Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Just to kick off this week, if you want context for how poor the prize money is in the UK, this statement is true as of the Tancred on Tuesday:

The richest race in the UK is the King George at Royal Ascot, which will have a prize pool of £1.5m, which at current exchange rates is $3.2m AUD… if you want context, The Quokka at Ascot in Perth has a prize pool of $5m AUD.

Moving on from that enlightening piece of information, with Daylight Savings about to end it’s time for the first day of the NSW Water Polo Championships on some kind of a Heavy 29 at Randwick, with the highlights being the popular Country Championships Final, plus the four Group 1s of the Inglis Sires for the juveniles, the ATC Australian Derby, formerly the AJC Derby, the TJ Smith Stakes, and the Doncaster Mile, the second most-famous mile in the world…

Behind Eminem’s 8 Mile.

Also it is good to see a pretty decent Doncaster field this year, with some 13 Group 1 winners in the current field prior to the emergencies being dropped out.

Other races of note include the Caulfield Easter Cup meeting, which is being held 2 weeks early for some reason, there’s also some dodgy races at Morphetville, and another race is the Group 3 WA Oaks at Ascot, a race that I didn’t even know was still in operation until I looked at the form guide.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and what a superb day it turned out to be last Saturday, because with the Tancred meeting being postponed to Tuesday, he was reduced to one runner in the shape of Alabama Lass, and wouldn’t you know it, the Kiwi raider absolutely shat it in at Flemington, because she had LUCKY LIPS!

And on that note, here’s Cliff Richard.

The Blondie P(r)ick: Heart Of Glass (No.9, Barrier 6) in Race 2 at Caulfield (MR2), 12:40pm AEDT

1200m BM74 Noel Rundle Handicap

Trainers: Tony & Calvin McEvoy, Jockey: Harry Coffey, 57kg

Hello hello friends, it’s Craaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and you know it’s a good week when I bloody well genuinely find a winner without pulling it out of my arse, and what a sight to see some fellow lunatics absolutely TRUCKLOAD Alabama Lass before the jump… I got on at $2.90, and the next thing you know she jumped at $2.50 on fixed and $1.90 on the tote to h

Once I had a love, and it was a gas… SOON TURNED OUT, HAD A HEART OF GLASS.

Seemed like the real thing, only to find, Mucho mistrust, love’s gone behind!

Once I had a love and it was a gas… soon turned out to be a pain in the ass.

The Schitt’s Creek Group 1 Pick: Moira (No.10, Barrier 21) E/W in the Doncaster Mile at Randwick (SR8), 4:35pm AEDT

1600m Group 1 Handicap

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: Zac Purton, 54kg

Now, this week I was on a conference call with Mr Alfonse and our mutual associate The Cheetah up in Queensland, and he’s bloody well thrilled because one of his mates from back in Melbourne just got paroled, so he more than happily divulged some inside gossip about The Doncaster Mile, because I asked him if one his boys had spoken to Chris Waller about his Doncaster runners, and in particular the Breeder’s Cup winning import MOIRA, the Canadian from Canadia, who has barely been sighted in the trials ahead of her first run in Australia.

All I got was a 2 word response.

CAN WIN.

Crazy Craig’s Crappy Collection of Group 1 Picks

Inglis Sires: Wodeton

TJ Smith Stakes: Briasa

ATC Derby: Willydoit… I bloody well hope so, that’s why I picked the dickhead!

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!