Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Alright folks, with the rain having shifted over to New Zealand, we go on to another boring Saturday in April, featuring Day 2 of The Championships on some kind of dungheap at Randwick, with the highlight being the Queen Elizabeth Stakes between Via Sistina, Dubai Honour and the Japanese raider Rousham Park, and you know they’re serious about his chances when Christophe Lemaire gets on a plane from Nippon bound for Sydney to ride the nag.

Of course, the Sydney Cup is also on this weekend, plus the Queen of the Turf and the Australian Oaks, with this year marking 10 years since Tye Angland rode Gust of Wind to beat a disappointing Chris Waller-trained filly called Winx:

Who subsequently won her next 33 consecutive starts after they realised Joao Moreira wasn’t quite the jockey for her.

Some other major races around the country include the Golden Mile at Bendigo, with the Adelaide Carnival getting closer Morphetville hosts a couple of Group 3s (The Auraria & Irwin Stakes), and Ascot (Which is in Belmont) hosts the Gimcrack for the 2YO Fillies and the Group 3 Roma Cup, which has been restored to its original name after the special occasion of AC Milan playing AS Roma in Perth last year.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and wouldn’t you know it, he found another winner last week… Heart of Glass thankfully didn’t have a heart as big as a pea, which means he’s still got lucky lips!

The Harry Styles P(r)ick: Harry Got Styles (No.7, Barrier 4) E/W in Race 6 at Bendigo (MR6), 2:55pm AEST

1100m BM84 Handicap

Trainer: Matt Laurie, Jockey: Luke Currie, 56kg

Hello hello all it’s Craaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and what a joy to see that Heart of Glass didn’t have a heart as big as a PEA when Prancing Spirit was flying at him late at Caulfield last week…

The polar opposite of Clan O’Sullivan against Burst in that bloody Golden Slipper.

Anyway, that was then and this is now, and the now is Bendigo for the Golden Mile, and completely avoiding any decent races we’ve gone to Race 6, and for some unknown reason I went with Harry Got Styles for some value, possibly because he was untested in a trial, has won 1st Up before… to come to think of it, it’s all going in ONE DIRECTION for Harry Got Styles!

The Squeeze Pick: Tempted (No.2, Barrier 12) in Race 4 at Randwick (SR4), 1:30pm AEST

1200m 2YO Group 2 Percy Sykes Stakes

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: James McDonald, 57kg

TEMPTED by the fruit of another… tempted but the truth is discovered what’s been going on!

P(r)ick No.3: Jokers Grin (No.3, Barrier 7) in Race 8 at Ascot (PR8), 4:25pm AWST

1100m Group 3 WFA Roma Cup

Trainer: Bernie Miller, Jockey: Patrick Carberry, 58.5kg

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers Grin to the right here I am, stuck in the middle with you!

Crazy Crappy Group 1 Chalk Eating

Australian Oaks: Treasurethe Moment

Sydney Cup: Duke De Sessa

Queen of the Turf: Fangirl

Queen Elizabeth Stakes: Via Sistina

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!