Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well friends and strangers, with Good Friday raging on with races in all three corners of the country, including the random inclusion of Cranbourne night races, we look ahead to Easter Saturday, which is traditionally full of wild events such as:

The winding down of the Sydney Autumn Carnival, with the running of the Champagne Stakes to finish off the 2YO Triple Crown and the All-Aged Stakes to bring up Sydney’s last Group 1(s) until August, and the other big races on the day include some Listed races at Eagle Farm (The Ascot Handicap and the Daybreak Lover), the Mornington Cup at the worst racecourse in Australia, the Oakbank races in the Adelaide Hills just aren’t the same without the jumps races, not that I miss the jumps, and Ascot hosts the time-honoured Group 2 WATC Derby, which used to be a Group 1 until multiple people realised the cold hard reality that it was just a shithouse race.

And we also have a hodgepodge of country cups, namely the Kerang Cup, Warracknabeal, and the Dongara Cup, where my neighbours will be pitching a tent, even though they have a house in Dongara.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and I couldn’t believe my eyes last week… TEMPTED wasn’t tempted by the fruit of another and won as the SQUEEZE pick of the day, and we had a dead-heat victory which was rubbed out on protest… needless to say they won’t be receiving any scratchies from Crazy Craig, but in the meantime TEMPTED ensured that he’s still got LUCKY LIPS!

P(r)ick No.1: Celiu (No.3, Barrier 5) in Race 5 at Randwick (SR5), 1:50pm AEST

1200m BM88 Handicap

Trainers: Richard & Will Freedman, Jockey: Jason Collett, 58.5kg

Hello hello friends, it’s Craaaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and fancy that, 3 CONSECUTIVE WEEKS WE’VE HAD SCRATCHIES COMING OUT OF OUR ARSES!

How crazy is that, and you know what you could be able to afford with those scratchies…

$50 notes to give to mums in prams so they can buy Easter eggs!

Anyway, we’d best keep looking forward and not backward like an owl, and we’ll start off at Randwick because Mornington deserves to be used as a nuclear test site by the North Koreans, and there’s been plenty of talk about one of Richard Freedman’s (and that other Freedman) horses in Race 5….

CELIU, who opened at $15 before getting absolutely smashed into $5.50 by this morning!

How crazy is that!

Anwyay, I have absolutely no reason to say anything otherwise about any other horse in the race, because Celiu’s first start for the FBI (Freedman Brothers Incorporated) at Muswellbrook was massive, carrying top weight at 63kg and still charging from the rear of the field to win, and now he’s ready for 1200m in the big smoke with the other of the Collett siblings on board as Jason replaces Alysha…

In fact, Doris Day had a song for the nag – Que Celiu Celiu, whatever will be, will be!

The Jimmy Buffett Pick: Jimmysstar (No.4, Barrier 6) E/W in the All Aged Stakes at Randwick (SR8), 3:40pm AEST

1400m WFA Group 1

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Ethan Brown, 59kg

Time for the classic play of the second favourite to beat the favourite Briasa, as Jimmysstar has put in 3 crackers this prep, winning the Oakleigh Plate 1st Up, running 3rd in the William Reid after getting too far back, then he dropped back to last in the TJ Smith and ran on superbly to finish a game 4th and 1.5 lengths off Briasa, and in a straight matchup I’d be taking the New Zealander from New Zealand to defeat the horse trained by a New Zealander in Bjorn Baker!

And on that note, here’s a star named Jimmy… Jimmy Buffett!

P(r)ick No.3: All Play (No.3, Barrier 2) in Race 8 at Ascot (PR8), 4:20pm AWST

1000m 72+ Rating Handicap

Trainer: Trevor Andrews, Jockey: Shaun O’Donnell, 58kg

All Play and no work makes Crazy Craig a dull boy….

Champagne Stakes P(r)ick: Buffalo

Enjoy your EASTER Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!