Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well friends, here we are at Election Day 2025 as we move on to the month of May, a month that was once owned by The Temptations during the 1960s, alongside sunshine on a cloudy day, and Sunday will mark Star Wars day, although the force won’t be with us because Emperor Palpatine wiped out the Jedi during Order 66 in 2005, after Yoda and Mace Windu objected to him removing their tax exempt status.

Fancy that, 20 years ago the Pope died just before Revenge of the Sith was released to theatres, and this year we had a Pope die just before Revenge of the Sith returned to theatres.

This weekend, outside of the 151st Kentucky Derby on Sunday morning, marks the running of the Group 1 South Australian Derby, although if they were true South Australians they’d call it The Showdown, and the other semi-important races include the Group 2 Victory Stakes and the Queensland Guineas at Eagle Farm as we edge closer to the height of the Brisbane Carnival, the Hawkesbury Gold Cup up in the northern parts of Greater Sydney, and the rest I’m not sure about…

Still, they’ll all be nothing compared to the scenes at the Warrnambool Carnival.

By this point in history Ric McIntosh has to say HOW BLOODY GOOD IS THE ‘BOOL during the Grand Annual, or else he’ll get stabbed by the locals.

So on that note we move on to Crazy Craig, and what a magical run this has been… 5 CONSECUTIVE WEEKS with a winner, the first time he’s ever achieved that, which means the mums with prams will keep getting $50 notes and the scratchies will keep flowing to the down on their luck… that’s what happens when you’ve got LUCKY LIPS!

P(r)ick No.1: Ser Joh (No.9, Barrier 10) in Race 3 at Eagle Farm (MR3), 1:13pm AEST

1200m CG&E BM78 Handicap

Trainer: Robert Heathcote, Jockey: Tim Clark, 57.5kg

Hello hello friends it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and despite my best efforts, we just bloody well KEEP ON WINNING, and how appropriate that last week it was WATCH ME WIN who told everybody to do just that, and he was true to his word…

That’s something these bloody politician types should learn before Election Day when they suddenly give a shit about common decency, before the half baked voters come in and bite them on the ARSE!

Now, staying with the subject of Election Day, I’m going straight to Eagle Farm because we’ve got our Political bet of the day, named after the great Emperor of Queensland….

Wally Lewis

SER JOH.

DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT!

There’s also another political themed bet based on Elections this week – Canadian Ruler in Race 2 at Hawkesbury… omens knackers, OMENS!

The Greg Kihn Pick: Kin (No.10, Barrier 9) E/W in Race 9 at Hawkesbury (SR9), 4:05pm AEST

1100m Listed Quality Hawkesbury Gold Rush

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Rachel King, 53kg

Well, with Godolphin and James Cummings parting ways in August, I guess you could say…

Their love’s in JEOPARDY!

There’s another misheard Greg Kihn lyric that could apply to the races as well… they don’t ride ’em like that anymore.

P(r)ick No.3: Statuario (No.2, Barrier 3) in the SA Derby at Morphetville (AR8), 4:05pm ACST

2500m 3YO SW Group 1

Trainers: Emma-Lee & David Browne, Jockey: Mark Zahra, 56.5kg

Well, if Statuario does go on to lose this race, we can claim he has an excuse…

His name suggests that he’s made of granite, which might make it a bit hard to have a decent turn of foot.

Enjoy your ELECTION Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!