Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Alright friends, this is the first Saturday of the southern winter, and with the Queensland Derby getting washed out last week, it means there’s now a special edition Super Saturday at Eagle Farm, with a Group 1 triple header of the WFA Kingsford Smith Cup, the Queensland Oaks and the second attempt at the Queensland Derby, and if it’s not a Heavy track then they should start popping the champagne corks at the Brisbane Racing Club…

How appropriate that the Queensland Derby would be on the same day as the Epsom Derby in England.

Other noteworthy races include the Bob Charley Stakes at Randwick, Flemington has nothing interesting, I looked and saw there’s racing in Broome, and Pinjarra hosts the Group 3 Hyperion Stakes, owing to Belmont still undergoing track repairs, and nobody knows when we could see Belmont back in action, with current whispers ranging from a few weeks to as far as next year, which would be rather shithouse considering Ascot won’t be functioning until October.

Actually, speaking of Belmont, the Belmont Stakes is on in the United States this weekend.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and apparently he’s come back from his long weekend in parts unknown… actually, I don’t Crazy Craig has ever come back from his long weekend from parts unknown, because according to my Spanish associate Mr Alfonse, he went on a long weekend during the 1992 Golden Slipper weekend and never came back…

Bloody Clan O’Sullivan, heart as big as a PEA.

The Dolly Parton Pick: Joliestar (No.10, Barrier 13) in the Kingsford Smith Cup at Eagle Farm (BR7), 2:38pm AEST

1300m WFA Kingsford Smith Cup

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: James McDonald, 57kg

Jolie, Jolie, Jolie Jolieeeee… star.

Hello hello to all who read this, it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and I’m teetering between hibernation and still trying to find bloody winners to pay for those scratchies to give to the DOWN ON THEIR LUCK folk of Bairnsdale, because if any of them support North Melbourne, then they’ll need more than a scratchie to get them out of a slump!

Anyway, I’ve gone for Joliestar to beat Giga Kick in the Kingsford Smith, despite the fact that Barrier 13 is now pretty much barrier 9 in a smaller field, and I’d have to think that off a 6 week freshen up with James McDonald flying in for a visit, the other trainers will be rubbing their rosary beads praying that they don’t cop a beating from the owners!

P(r)ick No.2: Marble Nine (No.4, Barrier 18) E/W in Race 9 at Flemington (MR9), 4:34pm AEST

1200m BM84 Handicap

Trainers: Leon & Troy Corstens & Will Larkin, Jockey: Hannah Edgley (a3), 61.5kg

A name that sounds like a late Beatles classic from their last studio album… only problem is, nobody wants to listen to the 1970 version of the Let It Be album anymore, because it’s the second worst atrocity committed by Phil Spector, after what he did to poor Lana Clarkson in 2003.

My baby says she’s travelling on the one after Marble Nine
I said, move over, honey, I’m travelling on that line
I said, move over once, move over twice
Come on, baby don’t be cold as ice
I said I’m travelling on the one after Marble Nine!

Queensland Oaks P(r)ick: Movin Out… not the Billy Joel song, the horse with saddlecloth 3.

Queensland Derby Pick: King of Thunder…. Could be an omen bet seeing as the OKC Thunder are in the NBA Finals.

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!