Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Another bone-rattling Saturday as we get ever closer to the return of Group 1 racing, with this weekend featuring the Group 2 Missile Stakes at Randwick, in amidst a load of BM72 races, Moonee Valley returns to really commence the countdown before the bulldozers and developers bastardise one of the toughest racetracks in Australia, Morphetville host the Group 3 Behemoth Stakes, Townsville Cup fever has gripped Queensland, which will be the best sporting entertainment anyone in Townsville has enjoyed this season because the Cowboys are rubbish, the Casino Cup has gripped the Northern Rivers…

And we have the recurring problem of a Belmont meeting being moved to Pinjarra due to the impending threat of heavy rain, AGAIN highlighting a familiar problem for Perth Racing… they have a designated winter track in Belmont, which has just been repaired, and they’re too shit scared to give it a run in the rain, and on top that, it’s the same problem of them MOVING A RACE MEETING AFTER THE MARKETS OPENED.

You couldn’t place a bet with any confidence.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and after his dodgy performance last week I’ve got no idea what his theme music is this weekend… probably something weather related from the 1970s, so it definitely won’t be Australian.

The Village People P(r)ick: Naval Academy (No.14, Barrier 6) in Race 9 at Moonee Valley (MR9), 5:10pm AEST

1200m BM84 Handicap

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Jamie Melham, 54kg

Hello hello friends it’s Craaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and this Saturday at the old Death Valley you’re going to be so bored you’ll wish I’d had enough time to include another pick, but alas I’ve had to CONSERVE ahead of a long and arduous spring ahead, where the streets of Bairnsdale are going to be PAVED with $20 notes, so instead we’re going to see me beat a dead horse…

Figuratively speaking, of course!

Now, in the time I’ve ruined your Saturday mornings since 2019, I’ve had 3 different Village People Picks using the same bloody song; In The Navy, Naval College (Who actually went on to win), and now….

Where can you find pleasure, search the world for treasure, learn science technology?

Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true, on the land, or on the sea?

Where can you learn to fly, play in sports and skin dive, study oceanography?

In the NAVAL ACADEMY!

The Village People, the greatest band to feature a policeman…

Because it turned out Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers weren’t actual policeman, despite what their name suggests.

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, GAMBLE WITHIN REASON, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!