Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

What an array of races this Saturday with the Cairns Cup, the Carlyon Cup, the Leon Macdonald Stakes, and for the Seinfeld fans we’ve got the Newman Cup up in the Pilbara…

But most importantly of all, the first Group 1 of the new season with the Winx Stakes at Randwick, so on that note…

LET’S RUMBLE!

P(r)ick No.1: Exit (No.6, Barrier 4) in Race 3 at Moonee Valley (MR3), 3:15pm AEDT

1523m 3YO Manhari Handicap

Trainer: Ciaron Maher, Jockey: Mark Zahra, 56.5kg

Hello folks it’s Craaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and watching the footy last Saturday before Private Eye shat it in at Caulfield, it struck me that the Gold Coast Suns remind me of a certain 2-year-old Golden Slipper contender named Clan O’Sullivan, who many years ago (1992 to be exact) looked a bloody good chance to topple Burst in the Slipper, but at the end of the day, much like the Suns, he had one tiny little problem…

HE HAD A HEART AS BIG AS A ****IN’ PEA.

They’re just LOSERS from that LOSERVILLE that is the Gold Coast of Australia… Exhibit 1B, the Gold Coast Titans about to win the wooden spoon!

BUT, you know who ain’t going to be a loser on Saturday?

EXIT at the old Death Valley, and with a name like Exit, I’m left thinking of one of the great theme songs of Bairnsdale…

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place, if it’s the last thing we ever do!

The Elton John Pick: Yellow Brick (No.1, Barrier 4) E/W in Race 9 at Randwick (SR9), 4:30pm AEST

1200m Group 3 Quality

Trainers: Tony & Maddysen Sears, Jockey: Andrew Mallyon, 60kg

Why am I picking a top weight lumping 60 kilos on one of the Heaviest tracks in the history of Australian racing?

WHY?

BECAUSE I’M CRAZY CRAIG, IT’S ALL IN THE NAME!

And, I’m CRAZY for Sir Elton John!

The token Group 1 Winx Stakes Pick: Don’t touch it with a 50 foot pole, you’d have to be crazier than me to want to bet on a Heavy 25 track with Via Sistina 1st Up at rock bottom odds!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, GAMBLE WITHIN REASON, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!