Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well folks, here we are at the last weekend of the southern winter for 2025, and the feature event of the weekend is the Group 1 Memsie Stakes at Caulfield, the traditional kick-off for the Melbourne Spring Carnival as you get the middle-distance guns headed towards the Cox Plate, and the stayers headed towards the Cups.

Good news is this year’s field has a slightly more respectable 11 horses, up on last year’s pitiful display of 8, which was still well short of the all-time record for the fewest runners in a Group 1 at Caulfield, let alone Australia, which was the 3 runners in the 2016 Caulfield Stakes when nobody except Darren Weir wanted to run a horse against Winx.

Other notable races on the card include several Group 3s on the undercard at The Heath, namely The Group 3 Heath 1100, back to its usual name after being a Black Caviar Tribute last year, the McNeil Stakes and the Cockram Stakes, Rosehill hosts some Group 3 3YO races in the form of the San Domenico Stakes and the Up And Coming Stakes…

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and he’s said that this week is SHORT AND SHARP, which is code for ‘I’ve got one bet that’s going to do nothing’…. unlike Cliff Richard, who clearly had Lucky Lips:

The Sir Tom Jones P(r)ick: Tom Kitten (No.2, Barrier 4) E/W in the Memsie Stakes (MR9) at Caulfield, 4:45pm AEST

1400m Group 1 WFA

Trainers: Anthony & Sam Freedman, Jockey: Ben Melham, 59kg

Hello hello folks it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and all I can say is get your undies, knickers or any assorted undergarment ready to HURL AT THE STAGE, because what do you get when you have a Tom Kitten?

Well, you get Tom Jones singing WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT, woah woah woah woah woah!

I’m extremely disappointed that Tom Atkins doesn’t have this as his goal song, considering he plays for Geelong.

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, GAMBLE WITHIN REASON, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!