Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

To repeat what I said 12 months ago, we have another Super Saturday of Group 1 racing, with Group 1 races at Flemington (The Turnbull Stakes), plus the Bart Cummings to qualify another horse into the Melbourne Cup, and 3 Group 1 races at Randwick (The Flight, The Metropolitan and the feature Epsom Handicap), being the eve of the NRL Grand Final, this is the last Saturday before daylight savings kick in until April, and once again, why the hell do we still have daylight savings in this country.

It was designed to save coal during the wars, and the last time I checked, the last world war ended in 1945, and disappointingly, World War III hasn’t started yet.

Absolutely archaic.

Anyway, here’s The Doors:

The Hyacinth Bucket Tribute Pick: Pericles (No.2, Barrier 5) E/W in the Epsom Handicap at Randwick (SR8), 4:10pm AEST

1600m Group 1 Handicap

Trainer: Bjorn Baker, Jockey: Josh Parr, 57kg

Bjorn Baker, or as Crazy Col Hodges once called him:

Hello hello everybody, it’s Craaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and what a devastating bit of news for myself on Friday evening as I found out that Dame Patricia Routledge had died, the very same lady who taught us that bucket is actually pronounced Bouquet….

So it’s only appropriate that she kicked the bouquet!

Anyway, I figured I’d throw everything out the window and try and find a potential tribute and/or omen bet to get up for Mrs Bouquet, and we’ve gone straight to the feature event of the day at Randwick, the time-honoured Epsom Handicap, a race last defended by Desert War in 2004-05, with Ceowulf trying to join the club, but instead we’ve gone for the horse named after Hyacinth’s family heirloom China set..

Royal Doulton with hand-painted periwinkles, or should I say hand-painted Pericles!

Of course, for a family heirloom, it was once valued at a grand total of 20 pounds.

Turnbull Stakes: Via Sistina

Flight Stakes: Apocalyptic

Metropolitan Handicap: Etna Rosso

Enjoy your SATURDAY folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!