Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well friends, after the Cox Plate proved a brilliant farewell to Moonee Valley, here we are at Derby Day, what used to be the greatest day of the Australian racing calendar, and while Melbourne Cup Day traditionally has the most meetings across the nation, Derby Day is eternally the higher quality day, by virtue of the entire card being Group races, capped off by what is now 3 Group 1s after the Cantala Stakes was moved to Stakes Day in 2022; The stallion-making and breaking Coolmore Stud Stakes, the Empire Rose Stakes, and the 169th running of the Victoria Derby, and for all we know this could be the last year that the Derby is run at 2500m, if certain trainers get their way and the race changes to 2000m in 2026.

Other highlights on the great day of racing include the alternative big race north of Wodonga, the Golden Eagle for the 4YOs at Randwick worth a few kajillion dollars, despite not even getting a full field, with this being the first year the race has been run at Randwick after starting at Rosehill, plus a couple of other sprint races for the horses not good enough to win the Everest (The Russell Balding Stakes) and much to my disappointment, Racing NSW still can’t be bothered using the Steve Miller Band, or even Ross Wilson of Daddy Cool, to promote a race named after an Eagle.

Imagine all the youngsters in the Randwick crowd just dropping their dacks and doing the Eagle Rock.

And with Morphetville moving their interesting races to Melbourne Cup Day, we’ll all be fishing up our arses at Ascot, which is in Belmont, it’s the Group 3 double of the Prince Of Wales Stakes and the Asian Beau Stakes, and not many people know that Asian Beau has held the Australian record over 1450m since December of 1978…

The obvious reason being that no sane race club will run a race over 1450m when 1400m will do.

Anyway, fresh off getting the history he wanted to see with Via Sistina’s record-setting repeat Cox Plate win, here’s Crazy Craig!

The Oasis Omen Bet: Panova (No.9, Barrier 7) in Race 1 at Flemington (MR1), 12:20pm AEDT

1600m 3YO Group 3 Carbine Club Stakes

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: Tommy Berry, 56kg

Hello hello folks it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, ready to begin the great punting Christmas that is Melbourne Cup week, and not many of you folks know that this year’s Derby Day marks the 20th anniversary of the day the Melbourne Cup peaked and began its slow, painful downhill descent…

Makybe Diva’s third Melbourne Cup – November 1, 2005.

We will never ever see that again… and by that, I mean a favourite winning a Melbourne Cup, let alone matching The Diva and winning 3 of them!

Anyway folks, to kick off this Saturday we’ll go for the starting point of the Melbourne Cup Carnival, RACE 1, the Carbine Club Stakes, and this week in Australian culture we saw two notorious English convicts known as the Gallagher brothers arrive via boat into the country for the Australian leg of the Oasis reunion tour, and in this race there’s a horse that makes me think of the great Oasis lyric from 30 years ago…

SOMEDAY YOU WILL FIND ME, CAUGHT BENEATH THE LANDSLIDE…

In a Champagne Su-PANOVA in the sky!

As I once asked Crazy Colin when he randomly disappeared while I ascended up a ladder with my mate Mr Alfonse to clean my gutters many years ago…

Where were you when we were getting high?

The Ashes Pick: United Kingdom (No.12, Barrier 7) in Race 5 at Randwick (SR5), 2:40pm AEDT

2000m BM78 Handicap

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: James McDonald, 55kg

Off to Randwick for another pick based on omens and nothing to do with form, because the Rugby League Ashes are on, the actual Ashes are on in 3 weeks, so let’s kick off this pick with a great rugby league Ashes moment…

Adrian Morley getting sent off after 12 seconds for belting Robbie Kearns!

The hit so bad it sent the Ashes into the rugby league dustbin until this year!

The Skyhooks Pick: Skyhook (No.5, Barrier 2) E/W in the Coolmore Stud Stakes at Flemington (MR6), 3:40pm AEDT

1200m 3YO SW Group 1

Trainers: Gerald Ryan & Sterling Alexiou, Jockey: Craig Williams, 57kg

The great stallion-making race that is the Coolmore, and stuff the favourites in Godolphin silks, by the end of the race we’ll be living in the ’70s with SKYHOOK!

We’ll also be watching a Horror Movie, wearing Blue Jeans, listening to a jukebox in Siberia, and learning that ego is not a dirty word.

The other Derby Day Group 1s and others

Victoria Derby: Observer (No.1, Barrier 4)… having picked him now just wait for him to get found wanting going from the 2040m at the Valley to the 2500m test of Flemington

Empire Rose Stakes: Pride of Jenni (No.1, Barrier 7)… get a cheap lead and let her do a Vo Rogue on them

Golden Eagle: Panja Tower (No.12, Barrier 4), the Japanese horse from Japan… fun form note, he won the NHK Mile Cup in May, the same race that Obamburumai placed in before winning the 2023 Golden Eagle!

Enjoy your Derby Day folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!