Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

That’s right friends, weirdos and people I’ve never met, it’s the first Tuesday of November, and the time has arrived for the 165th Melbourne Cup, the race that apparently once stopped the nation, only because it was 1930, Phar Lap was bigger than Bradman, and everyone was unemployed because of the Great Depression.

Anyway, here’s Crazy Craig fresh off getting a winner on Derby Day, and now we go on to the annual Melbourne Cup place bet, which somehow worked last year with Okita Soushi, and as Craig would say… WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Melbourne Cup: Valiant King (No.24, Barrier 10) E/W in Race 7 at Flemington (MR7), 3pm AEDT

3200m Group 1 Lexus Melbourne Cup

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: Jye McNeil, 51kg

Hello hello to everybody, it’s Craaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and what a magnificent day of racing we have ahead of us, the first Tuesday of November, Melbourne Cup Day, a day that used to mean so much to the alcoholics of Australia, as we stopped doing whatever we were doing at somewhere between 12/1/2/3 in the afternoon and listened to Bill Collins call the Melbourne Cup from Flemington.

Of course, myself and Crazy Colin and our loveable lunatic friends gave up trying to find a Cup winner 7 generations of iPhone ago, so now I just stick to place bets in the Cup, because let’s be honest, Wuss bets are the best way to make a dollar these days, and much to my surprise it actually worked last year when Okita Soushi was only just off Knight’s Choice in that memorable finish!

Now, after carefully assessing our options, both international, national and South Australian, we’ve got to thin out a couple – Al Riffa’s 59kg will bring him undone, Buckaroo can’t win past 1800m, Half Yours might have won the Caulfield Cup but he is Australian so is completely inferior at 2 miles, Presage Nocturne is French so will wave the white flag when the German horse Flatten The Curve gets close, and much to my surprise Flatten The Curse is not being ridden by Daniel Andrews, but instead a character called Thor Hammer Hansen, so that leads me to a horse that Go West would be backing straight away…

VALIANT KING… OF WISHFUL THINKING.

Bottom weight, won the Bart Cummings and backed it up good run in the Caulfield Cup, Barrier 10 is a lovely draw, the track is drying out, he’ll sit off the speed and come CHAAAAAARGING AT THE CLOCK TOWER to run in the Top 3.

WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

Enjoy your Tuesday folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, this has been Crazy Craig saying… don’t steal your mates’ beer and GAMBLE RESPONSIBLY AT ALL TIMES.