Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well friends, here we are at the last Crazy Craig selections for 2025, the CHRISTMAS edition, and it took a bit of convincing to get the Boy from Bairnsdale to come back for one last crack at finding a winner this year, because last week he took one look at the fields across the country and decided that the horses could, according to him, “Go and get ****ed!”

Looking at that result in the Northerly Stakes, he wasn’t wrong.

Anyway, this weekend’s highlights include the feature Pakenham Cup on the outskirts of the Melbourne metro area, the Group 2 Ingham and the Inglis Nursery at Randwick, a raceday at Randwick that is mostly centred around Bob and Jack Ingham, in addition to a tribute race for Sam Kavanagh on the first anniversary of his death, and the Group 3 Gold Rush at Ascot, one of the richest Group 3 races in Australia as the prize pool is worth $2,000,000, which is more than several Group 1 races… although apparently their status is now up for debate after what the Asian Pattern Committee wrote about our black type grading system.

Also, I have no idea how but Ascot was rated a Soft 5 on Friday, which was a bit odd considering we’ve had Perth temperatures in the 30s consistently this week, so obviously somebody forgot to turn the sprinklers off and flooded the bloody thing.

So enough of that low brow rubbish, here’s some high-class rubbish with Crazy Craig, and being the last Picks of the Day before Christmas, we’re going to kick off Saturday with the song that helped ignite the idea of the battle for the Christmas Number One in 1973… Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade!

The Monty Python Pick: Yorkshire (No.13, Barrier 16) in The Ingham at Randwick (SR8), 4:45pm AEDT

1600m Group 2

Trainers: John O’Shea & Tom Charlton, Jockey: Zac Lloyd, 53kg

Hello hello all, it’s Craaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and because I need the cash to give all my loved ones a few scratch and wins for Christmas, I just HAD to come back for one last hurrah in 2025, because I never know when my last Picks of the Day could ever come…

In fact, it could even be this one, but I want to make sure it’s BLOODY WELL NOT!

Now, to start off this week I went straight to the feature event of the day at Randwick, the Ingham, the raced named after the brothers who dominated the Australian chicken industry and the racing industry simultaneously, making enough money to buy out the town of Ingham in Queensland as a Christmas present, and in that race there’s a horse named after the most belittled county in England, the county that gave us characters like Captain Cook, Joe Root, Judi Dench, Geoff Boycott, Mel B from the Spice Girls…

And Michael Palin from Monty Python, so on that note, here’s the Four Yorkshiremen!

Yorkshire born, Yorkshire bred, strong in arm, thick in ‘ed!

The Castle Pick: Dug Another Hole (No.5, Barrier 3) E/W in Race 6 at Ascot (PR6), 3:05pm AWST (6:05)

1500m 66+ Rating Morley Growers Market Handicap

Trainer: Neville Parnham, Jockey: Brad Parnham, 58.5kg

“Dad also had a way of making everyone feel important.”

“Go on Dale, tell him. Tell ’em! Go on, tell ’em!”

“DALE DUG A HOLE!”

“Like the time I dug a hole.”

Dad, I dug another hole… it’s filling with water!

And a pick for the Gold Rush… whatever Damien Oliver’s riding.

What’s that you say?

Damien Oliver retired after he won it 2 years ago?

Alright, I guess we’ll have to ROPE THEM IN again.

Thanks folks for another shithouse year, this has been Crazy Craig saying Merry Christmas to all, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!