Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well, folks we have arrived at the first Group 1 of the new year, the Black Caviar Lightning Stakes at Flemington, and usually it’s the C.F. Orr Stakes at Caulfield that kicks off the calendar year of Group 1 racing, but that was moved forward to the Spring Carnival to be run in mid-November after the Flemington Carnival had finished…

Thus, the first leg of the Autumn sprinting treble leads off the events of the day, which also includes the Australian Guineas form guide in the C.S. Hayes on the Flemington card, Randwick hosts a deluge of Group 2s (The Light Fingers, Expressway and Apollo Stakes), there’ll be another deluge at Eagle Farm with 45mm of rain forecast, and we have the annual Magic Millions meeting at Pinjarra, and hopefully all the connections can win enough money to pay for the tyres that will be stolen from their cars during the meeting.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and I wasn’t even aware he sent through a tip last week… obviously it went like crap, so to distract you all from another winless Saturday, here’s Lucky Lips!

In keeping with the State of Origin theme, today’s Picks have unintentionally been focused on Victoria and Western Australia.

The Guns N’ Roses Pick: Paradise City (No.10, Barrier 11) E/W in Race 10 at Flemington (MR10), 5:30pm AEDT

1400m Group 3 F&M Frances Tressady Stakes

Trainers: Peter Moody & Katherine Coleman, Jockey: Zac Spain, 56kg

Hello hello everybody it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and evidently the effects of global warming and climate have finally hit this year’s Winter Olympics, as evidenced by the fact that Australia, despite being 98% DESERT, has more Gold Medals than world-famous frozen wasteland CANADA.

Can’t win the Stanley Cup, can’t win an Olympic Gold!

Anyway, focusing on creatures with more brains than most Olympic athletes, we’ve got some Group 1 racing at Flemington with the time-honoured Lightning Stakes that the wonder mare Black Caviar dominated three years running, and for whatever reason I decided to skip the Lightning (Probably because it looks average) and stick with the Black Caviar theme by randomly deciding on a horse trained by Peter Moody that won its last start and was obviously purchased by a fan

Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty!

I would note it is the last race on the card, so as the Gunners would say, all we need is just a little patience.

P(r)ick No.2: Twisted Steel (No.3, Barrier 9) in Race 8 at Pinjarra (CR8), 4:53pm AWST

1200m Restricted Listed 3YO Set Weights Magic Millions WA 3YO Trophy

Trainer: Simon Miller, Jockey: Clint Johnston-Porter, 57kg

I wouldn’t be surprised if nobody watches this race, considering it’s due to be run 13 minutes after the State of Origin game gets underway, so we’ll expect to see THE BIG V already 5 goals ahead by that point in the game, because they are that much BETTER than those piddly little West Australians, who were so desperate they had to go to SYDNEY to get a bloody coach, and CARLTON just to get a captain!

Personally, I think the Victorians should defeat West Australians using a tactic that the entire world knows Victorians are the undisputed champions of…

THE LOCKDOWN.

Lightning Stakes Pick… no clear standout with 1000m being a gamble, go for a GIGA KICK… and if he was from South Australia, he’d be called GIGA KICK A VIC!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, STAY COOL, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!