AFL

Tuesday Tithbits: 15th October

MARSH SMAAAAASH

It’s Tuesday, and I’ve been traded for a Future 4th Round Draft Pick.


It’s my birthday tomorrow

Yay, go me.


Mitch Marsh speaking about his broken hand

Here’s one out of context quote that I greatly enjoyed.

“It’s a good lesson for me, hopefully it’s a good lesson for other people as well.”

Yes kids, it’s a good lesson, that can teach us that if you punch a wall, you’re probably going to end up in pain… and a lot of shit.

And just think, he was a puncher’s chance of playing the 1st Test next month.


The Wallabies-England Quarter Final

The refereeing appointments have been sorted- Jerome Garces will take control- but one particular problem has caught my eye.

TMO: Ben Skeen

On the bright side, that’s Michael Cheika’s cop-out sorted.


Big Nelson Asofa Solomona’s punch-up in Bali

For shit’s sake, did the dickheads picking a fight with the Storm boys not see the Prelim Final?

Big Nelson got sin-binned for a punch-up 40 SECONDS INTO THE GAME.

He was always going to win this one.

But, if this is any guide, it hasn’t even been a fortnight since the Grand Final, and yet we’re already on for another beautiful scandal-filled offseason… the Daily Telegraph must be lapping this up like a relapsed junkie.

Of course, this has become even weirder, with Braith Anasata saying he was with all of those Storm players, and claimed that one had been king hit, and also threatened with a glass object.

I can only imagine if Braith was the one being attacked, he’d have had a penalty awarded against him for being punched.


The NSW-Tasmania Sheffield Shield match being moved from the SCG to Drummoyne

As to be expected, Cricket NSW have solely pinned the blame on those rugby league playing heathens the Eastern Suburbs Roosters, for training on the centre square before the NRL Grand Final.

Last time I checked, that was a full fortnight ago.

But then again, unlike Cricket NSW, the Roosters can win a title playing on the SCG.


The Everest Barrier Draw Tonight

Apparently it’s starting about 15 minutes from now.

Remember, if you do bother to venture to Sydney Harbour this evening, shine a torch or a searchlight on the Harbour Bridge when the Barrier Draw (Which has already been conducted in a closet at Racing NSW for integrate reasons) is revealed, and help make the night really memorable.

For the record, If I actually manage to have a bet in the race for once, I’m taking Santa Ana Lane.


More Cockroach vs Mexican Shitfights

So in the midst of having things like the MRC buying a slot and the Schillaci winner (Trekking) getting into the race, the poo flinging between the deformed twins of Australian racing has continued, as the man with the biggest Trump combover in racing, Ray Thomas, pumped out some deadset tripe which claimed that Racing Victoria “Blackmailed” the drongos at Racing NSW by demanding the Everest be moved away from Caulfield Cup day, in exchange for adding the race to the hodgepodge of Group 1s polluting Australian racing.

And a little bit further down….

What on Earth?

Did Racing NSW employ renowned British hypnotist Kenny Craig to make Ray write that crap?

And if you ask me for my worthless opinion, it’s good the Everest isn’t a Group 1.

It’s an Auction Race.


Out of the various AFL Trades Today: General Jono Patton to Hawthorn

All for the cost of future 4th Round pick.

It’s all part of Hawthorn’s plan to recruit every remaining Number One Draft Pick from GWS- Tom Scully (Who was the No.1 pick for Melbourne) last year, and soon, Lachie Whitfield, after he suffers the inevitable serious injury that befalls all GWS stars.


Matty Nicks appointed as Adelaide coach

Hopefully the Crows put a clause in his contract that specifically states “No weird camps on the Gold Coast.”


Australians in the NFL Update: Week 6

A late addition, because I was really stretched for time between Sunday and Tuesday.

Michael Dickson (Seahawks)- defeated Browns 32-28 @ Cleveland Browns Stadium

In a really off performance, Michael Dickson had had somewhat of a stinker, especially when he had to punt from the Seahawks’ endzone with 10 minutes to go, and the team up 25-20.

Needing a big punt, he produced a right footed version of a Travis Cloke shot at goal- It went 24 yards.

The Browns scored a touchdown on the next drive, but fortunately for the Seahawks, they’ve got a certain Russell Wilson under center, and they charged 79 yards downfield and scored a touchdown to reclaim the lead, Mayfield was picked on the next drive, and the Seahawks killed the clock, and escaped the wildly unpredictable Browns with a win.

Cam Johnston (Eagles)- lost to Vikings 38-20 @ US Bank Stadium

This was the first game for the Eagles at US Bank Stadium since they won Super Bowl LII.

It did not go well, against a pack of Purple People Eaters who will never forget being annihilated in the 2017 NFC Championship Game by the Iggles, on the way to that title.

Kirk Cousins, who notoriously struggles against winning teams (He was something like 5-27 as a starter), burned the Philly secondary, throwing for 333 yards and 4 touchdowns on 22/33 passing.

A quiet day for Johnston, who held on all 4 of Jake Elliott’s successful kicks, and would end up punting as many times (3) as the Eagles turned the ball over.

Lachie Edwards (Jets) – defeated Cowboys 24-22 @ MetLife Stadium

QB Sam Darnold returned from his bout of Mono, and he lit up the ‘Boys like a fine Cuban, as the previously winless Jets gave us all a good laugh, sending the Cowboys into their 497th crisis under Jerry Jones since 1995.

What an utter joke of a division the NFC East is- The Redskins are 1-5, and yet, they’re only 2 games back.

As for Lachie, he punted 4 times for an average of 45.3 yards, and only had 2 kicks returned by Tavon Austin for a total of 8 yards.

But the best thing about this result had to be Stephen A’s inevitable reaction.

It was beautiful.

Mitch Wishnowsky (49ers)- defeated the same old Sorry Ass Rams 20-7 @ LA Memorial Coliseum

The world was going to get a rough idea of how for real this Niners team is against the NFC Champion and Division rival Rams.

They’re for real.

The Rams scored on the opening drive, and that was that- The Niners’ defence took over, completely exploiting the Rams’ depleted O-Line, and holding Jared Goff to a mere 78 yards on 13 completions.

The last time the Niners started 6-0 was 1984, when Joe Cool, Bill Walsh and the West Offense finished the season 15-1 and won their second Super Bowl.

It’s interesting to note that Mitch ranks only 28th for punting yards, is only 22nd in ‘Net Average’ for punting yards, but when it comes down to average punt return yardage, he’s a clear first, having only had 4/15 punts returned this season… for an average of 0.5 of a yard.

Punt coverage and special teams coverage in general is a big reason why the Niners are 5-0… the other big reason is their defence.

One of only 2 unbeaten teams left standing in the NFL… the other are a certain band of revolutionaries in New England.

Jordan Berry (Steelers)- defeated LA Chargers 24-17 @ Stubhub

Just highlighting how utterly irrelevant the Chargers have become since that arsehole in a suit named Spanos killed off their fanbase in San Diego, the game was basically a Steelers home game.

Then again, every game since the Chargers moved up the highway has been a road game.

The Stillers played accordingly, and with a skeleton crew of a team, raced out to a 24-0 lead through 3 quarters, until the Chargers finally broke through against the depleted Steel Curtain, scoring 2 touchdowns in the final quarter to peg the score back to 24-17 with 1:30 to go.

The Chargers failed to recover the onside kick, the Steelers ran a few plays and forced the hosts to waste their timeouts, and with a minute to go, Berry landed the perfect punt to seal the game- A banana that bounced perfectly on the 5, and was downed by Johnny Holton at the Chargers 1-yard line.

It forced Phillip Rivers to attempt to lead a 99-yard drive in a minute- He didn’t come close.

The Yanks may call that a pooch punt, but to everyone else except the checkside loving South Australians, that’s a textbook banana.


Adam Gotsis was inactive again for Broncos vs Titans.

Coincidentally, the Broncos shut out the Titans and won again.

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