NRL

JT’s NRL Season Reviews in 9 Words

A visual definition of an enteral optimist

Carrying on from yesterday, I best do one for the other code, which I’ll admit is a rush job, as I’ve been summoned to Melbourne for the very peculiar reason of…

Helping clean out my great aunt’s unit.

I kid you not, I found a perfectly working typewriter, and an original unopened edition of Twister.

How Craig Craig sends me his Lay Of The Day

Sydney Roosters (Premiers)

Congratulations, you’re Premiers again, enjoy the salary cap questions.

Canberra (Runners Up)

Six More, Six More, Sorry, Last Tackle, Last Tackle!

Melbourne (Prelim Finalists)

Folded faster than Ansett without a solid halves pairing.

Souths (Prelim Finalists)

Wayne can perform many miracles… except Sam’s shoulder surgery.

Parramatta (Semi Finalists)

A team so amazingly good, and so amazingly poor.

Manly (Semi Finalists)

When is that statue of Des sitting outside Brooky?

Cronulla (7th)

A summary of the Sharks’ history: Lost to Manly.

Brisbane (8th)

The only positive from 2019 was Segeyaro’s drug test.

Wests Tigers (9th)

Carrying the baton for Tigers teams finishing in 9th.

Penrith (10th)

Probably should’ve turned up to play before Round 10.

Newcastle (11th)

More hope and optimism than the Hunter Coal Industry.

Canterbury (12th)

If only they’d played Top 8 teams every week.

New Zealand (13th)

Turns out Roger Tuivasa-Sheck can’t do everything, bro.

North Queensland (14th)

Can that statue of JT play halfback in 2020?

St George-Illawarra (15th)

The review will find one thing: They’re woeful underachievers.

Gold Coast Titans (Wooden Spoon)

A Gold Coast club more laughable than the Suns.


Riveting.

Categories: NRL

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