Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 9th November

Well technically speaking, I had 4 losses today, not 3…. Facebook left my ad sitting in review for the entire period it could have been up.

Not that it mattered, because it was my usual 25% strike rate.

Angel Of Heaven in Race 3 at Randwick- 3rd

Bahahahahahahahahaha…. what on earth was that?

She had every conceivable chance to win…. and simply spent the entire length of the straight bobbing up and down on the spot.

She’s no Angel of Heaven…. she’s more like Jim Jones.

True Self in Race 4 at Flemington- WINNER

She was just about the good thing of the Flemington Carnival, and just to prove how good of a good thing she was, OTI swapped John Allen for Ryan Moore.

That’s the equivalent of exchanging a Datsun for a McLaren.

She had cover the whole race, wedged through a gap that suddenly appeared in the straight, went straight ahead, and then Moore rode her hands and heels to the line, such was his confidence.

Really nice and simple stuff, which perfectly describes Moore’s personality.

Melody Belle in the Mackinnon Stakes- 2nd

There was a whole cocktail of reasons as to why Melody Belle got beaten.

The first was pretty much being forced to go back from the gate, the slow speed up front, getting boxed in on the point of the turn, and lastly, and most importantly, Ryan Moore rated Magic Wand to perfection in sitting 3rd in clear air the whole race.

And yet, she only lost by 1.5 lengths, in a display that would just further piss everyone off.

Fortunately I did take both Melody Belle and Magic Wand, because I’m that much of a dick.

And of course, in his grand farewell, Hartnell duly put in one last big performance, looking half a chance of pulling out a fairytale win at the 300m, but he just didn’t have the legs to go with Magic Wand, and would ultimately run 3rd after MB grabbed him on the post.

For a gelding, he sure did show a magnificent pair of balls every time he ran- Enjoy retirement Big Boy, you were magnificent.

Achernar Star in the Lee Steere at Ascot- 4th

Wonderful- It’s now about 6 weeks since I actually backed a winner in Perth.

First, he jumps too well and sits 2nd the run, and then gets taken very easily by The Velvet King as a result… and then somehow, Star Exhibit pops up out of the ground and kills everyone at $41.

Meanwhile, Mr Peters’ more fancied runner Arcadia Prince ran a long last.

The deadset buggery that goes on.

It’ll be absolutely fantastic watching Star Exhibit go back to doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the summer, because he’s that kind of annoying arsehole of a horse.

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

Santa Ana Lane to win the Darley Classic- Ran 5th

Yep, Santa sure did come to town… Drunk and shirtless.

I’ve only got five words for the Boy From Bairnsdale.

Craig, stick to the lays.

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