Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 28th December

So I ended with 199 views on today’s Chalk Eaters, which by some distance is a new best, surpassing the meager 174 I was able to pull on Caulfield Cup Day, thanks mainly to some abuse from some angry carrots.

Funnily enough, my best viewing performances have generally come when I’ve spudded it up and scored 1/4 or 0/4… which to be fair, is every second week.

My only explanation for how this happened was people noticing my amazing work successfully backing against Pike….. or the betting companies forgot to cast their advertising nets out on Friday.

It was as bewildering to watch as This’ll Testya having her bubble destroyed by a passing F15 at the lazy odds of $1.30.

Do not go to Summer Scorcher, do not pass go, do not collect $200.


Ryan’s Fender in Race 3 at Moonee Valley – WINNER

The owners of Ryan’s Fender would be short odds of pulling a Ryan’s Bender in celebration of this win.

Now look, obviously it was a small field, but young Freduardo demonstrated another textbook example to the kiddies in the apprentice schools on how to ride a short-priced favourite – On the speed, out of trouble, and he used the massive 7.5kg advantage over The Lord Mayor to get the job done with relative comfort.

The same applied for Alligator Blood up at Eagle Farm – Ryan Maloney kept it out of trouble on speed, and once again, he just did exactly what he had to do and never looked like being passed in the straight.

Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for my next pick.


Sanabrenna in Race 1 at Ascot – 2nd

Like the new Cats film, this race was deadset awful viewing from start to bloody finish.

The difference was I actually watched Sanabrenna run.

She did jump reasonably well, and then for some reason Chris Graham (I believe it’s pronounced Gray-ee-mi) decided it wasn’t worth fighting anyone, and dropped back to last in a small field, where the filly then began throwing her head around like a mosh pit celebrant.

Then she cornered like a crab.

But, in a testament to her ability, she was still driving home with a wet sail … and would end up losing by a nose in a photo to Beffunjar.

There’s only one way you could describe a race like that.

Character Building.


Phaistos in Race 8 at Randwick – D/H 3rd

Apparently Phaistos is the Royal Blue Blur up front

Despite my positive intentions in resolving to pick more 2nd favourites, this one at the mighty quote of $3.10, the favourite Something Fast lived up to his name, and was simply too fast out in front, beating the flying Primitivo, who ended up losing by half a length, or more accurately, 10 metres.

After getting a clear run throughout, but ultimately achieving nothing with it, Phaistos ended up in a photo for the last of the minors with Matowi, and ultimately the judge couldn’t split them and called the deadheat for 3rd.

Pfft, a poor performance by the 2nd Favourite – At this rate, my New Years’ Resolution will last Negative 3 days, instead of 2 weeks.


Prince Turbo in Race 8 at Ascot – 3rd

Despite Arctic Stream rearing at the start and losing 3 lengths, and Prince Turbo having arguably the run of the race, one of the many royally-named thoroughbreds found himself locked in combat with the Warwick family and Spiritual Warrior, and as you can probably guess, it was the Kalgoorlie Cup winner who got the job done in a pretty fair arm wrestle over my selected hero.

And to cap it off, Prince Turbo got a bit weary after a massive effort, and was run down for 2nd by Arctic Stream on the post.

As I have maintained many times, ‘Took Money Back For 2nd and Ran 3rd’ will end up as my Epitaph.


Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day


LAYING Blondeau in Race 6 at Eagle Farm – LAY SUCCESSFUL

When Crazy Craig announces he’s marked some poor bugger for failure, I reckon if you mounted a hidden camera in the jockeys room, you could see at least one poor little pygmy start to drip out a waterfall of sweat…. although the more likely answer will be that they’ve just undergone a solid 30 minutes in the sauna.

Blondeau was dragged back from the jump, and despite looming up in the straight, he never seriously looked like running down Every Rose, who in turn, found out that every rose does indeed have its thorn, getting run down by King’s Legacy, who stands as the 400th juvenile winner for the Snowdens this season…. the 2YOs have only been racing since October.

Well done Craig, although I should point out laying favourites in 2YO races at this time of the season are an easy way to run up your stats… given they always end up being a lottery.


So if I’ve done the mathematics, my last 12 Chalk Eaters picks (Dating back to the 7th) have all placed

Approximately 6 wins, 3 seconds and 3 thirds.

And all I had to do was pick $2 favourites.

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