Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 25th January

WE’VE DONE IT.

FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, WE’VE ACHIEVED A NON-WINX 4/4 PERFORMANCE IN THE CHALK EATERS.

A stunning return from yours truly, with 3 winners around the mighty odds of $2.15, and Free Trade getting absolutely shitloaded after drifting to $2.10.

Of course, it could have gone either way – At various points of Friday morning, I had Hellenism (Who won at Randwick) typed out and ready to go, I had Yulong January (Who ran a well beaten 2nd) at some point and swapped him out, and I definitely wrote something for Superium (Did nothing at Randwick), and then swapped him out for Bold Reflection.

Of course, to ensure their victory, I didn’t actually back any of the 4, which is just classic me.


Hanseatic in The Blue Diamond Preview – WINNER

Holy moly, that was utterly arrogant from Currie – He was content to sit wide and out the back (Knowing the machine had underneath), and simply motored down the outside to an enormous win, pretty much untouched.

He officially won by 6.45 lengths to the second-favourite Tanker, who admittedly, never had a clean shot at the winner, although I doubt he would’ve been capable of pulling off the win.

It’s going to take a bloody good nag to stop Hanseatic from starting favourite for the Blue Diamond.


Pandemic in Race 8 at Randwick – WINNER

The Chinese can’t stop Pandemic from spreading, and the supposed best jockeys in Sydney couldn’t keep Pandemic in a pocket for long enough to stop him from exploding to an impressive victory – Berry hugged the rail, got into a punch-up with Sir Elton in the straight, and after finishing off The Rocket Horse, flew past Rare Episode, and got in ahead of him and the flying True Detective.

The omen bet won the betting war against Sir Elton convincingly, and he won the race pretty convincingly.


Better Reflection in Race 8 at the Sunny Coast – WINNER

It was a weird day at Caloundra – Ryan Maloney was indisposed early into the card for reasons unknown, meaning Brad Stewart (One of Rod’s illegitimate kids) picked up the ride on Better Reflection.

After jumping cleanly for a change, Stewart used the barrier to sit 3rd/4th/5th on the rail, he had no worries getting her clear in the straight, and after taking the lead, was stalked the rest of the way by a flying Baby Boomer (Okay Boomer), and they hit the line in a tense driving finish.

Ultimately the judge found a clear margin for Better Reflection, despite the photo itself being taken straight from the Zapruder film.

Lord Wiggington was pretty happy, and so he should be.


Free Trade in Race 6 at Ascot – WINNER

What a bloody great performance from both horse & pygmy – He was getting annoyed the entire trip, then found himself in a world of trouble on the turn, didn’t get out until the 250 (By which point it looked pretty bleak), and then Parnzy got Free Trade into the clear, and pretty much picked him up and threw him past Flower of War and Festival Miss mere inches from the line.

One of the great ways to bring up a perfect performance from yours truly… can’t say the same about my Crazy Colleague.


Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day


LAYING Sure Knee in Race 6 at Caulfield – SURE KNEE BIT CRAZY CRAIG ON THE ARSE.

Some people have some really sick fetishes – Backing Sure Knee into 3/1 appeared to be the masochists loading up for another round of a hot iron to the arse, but it turns out, they had a bloody good reason.

After a run of disappointing outs, the move to Caulfield, and slotting Frosty Lane aboard, proved the key to getting Sure Knee back to performing at a level reflective of her consistent market support – In this cae, she knocked off the import Mount Tabora in a driving finish.

So, after spudding it up 3 times in a row, Sure Knee has miraculously turned things around, and achieved what some of our champion nags have failed to do – She stuck the middle finger to the Bairnsdale Bunghole.

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