Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide: 8th February

Welcome to Sydney – If you aren’t burning, you’re drowning

Remember – If you don’t back a short-priced favourite, Gazza will hunt you down

And in the news this week, ‘Honest Bill’ Vlahos is priming up for a stint in the slammer for swindling punters out tens of millions, although with the justice system the Mexicans have running, he’ll do 2 years with good behaviour, Yes Yes Yes was retired, and in grub-related news, Richard Laming was charged with tubing Jamaican Rain last Cup Day.

Who knew a guy heading up a big punting stable would be lower than a snake’s coight.

And then capping off the fruityness, Trip To London won by 5 lengths at Walcha today…. she was only paying $126.

Anyway, Group 1 racing is back for the new decade, with the usual opener of the CF Orr at The Heath, and as is tradition in Australia, the field resembles a glorified Group 3 line-up.

That said though, if I were to back anything… Hey Doc wouldn’t be an awful throw at the stumps.

Around the grounds, Warwick Farm is set to host the Inglis Millennium meeting, pending on how deep underwater Liverpool and Chipping Norton are by Saturday morning, and over here in the Mild Mild West, the Magic Millions sales are in full swing, so by some pure coincidence, the annual Magic Millions meeting is on down in Pinjarra.

Usually the only thing magic about Pinjarra is some of the footy players that manage to escape from there.

So that said, it’s time for me to go shirking value.

Warwick Farm to get called off

“Okay ladies and gents, bring your riding goggles, and probably your floaties.”

Well, I have said this guide is about backing things at short odds.

Hanseatic (No.1, Barrier 2) in Race 4 at Caulfield, 2:20pm AEDT

1100m Group 3 Blue Diamond Prelude (C&G SW)

Trainer: Anthony Freedman, Hoop: Luke Currie, 55.5kg

Hang on a moment, you’re telling me that it’s not Hansie-atic?


Regardless, I took Hansie 2 weeks ago, and at the short odds, he delivered in spades with a pulsating trot down the outside in the Blue Diamond Preview to announce himself as a contender for the feature in 3 weeks.

Up to the 1100m for the Boy’s Prelude, and to state the obvious, the competition here is far stiffer, primarily in the form of the Snowden’s Rulership, but based on the impressive visual performance, I have to stick fat with the Blue Boys (And Girls), which can only end poorly for everyone.

To don my Captain Obvious cape, after Saturday afternoon, Hanseatic will be a ridgey didge Blue Diamond contender, or his hype bubble will burst into flames on the side of a mountain.

Darlamax (No.5, Barrier 6)in Race 9 at Morphetville, 5:11pm ACDT

1550m Chalk Hill Handicap (0-68 Rating)

Trainer: Mark Webb, Hoop: Todd Pannell, 56kg

Due to the very real threat of Warwick Farm being rained out, I’ve had to bite the bullet and go to bloody Adelaide, where they do this in their spare time.

If you ask me, that is the visual summation of the Adelaide Strikers’ season.

Moving on to the four legged entertainment, the last race on the Morphetville card appears to be a reasonable contest, headed up by the in-form Kyshaka from Mount Gambier (Say, wasn’t Leanne Cock from there?), Serious Spender with little Jerry Chau on his back, and the visiting Pricktorian Darlamax from Cranbourne.

He has just 1 win from 7 starts (In the tiny South Australian town of Albury), although he has placed a further 5 times, most recently in a midweeker at Sandown Lakeside in early January, and natural biased thinking would leave you convinced that’s more than good enough for a Saturday meeting in South Australia.

To be honest, I have no expectations, so bank on him to run 3rd.

Too Close The Sun (No.4, Barrier 2) in Race 8 at Pinjarra, 4:50pm AWST (7:50)

2000m Rockingham Ram Handicap

Trainer: Lindsey Smith, Hoop: Jarrad Noske, 58kg

Yes, I am backing a Lindsey Smith horse that’s currently favourite…. And it’s not Scales Of Justice.

Too Close The Sun is quite a fitting name for a horse trained by Lindsey, considering he does appear like someone who may or may not have suffered the effects of straying too close to the sun.

As for the horse, he won 3 out of 4 last prep (With a 2nd), and returned at the 1800m at Ascot 2 weeks ago, where he ran a game 3rd after racing on speed, but on the eye-test, he clearly needed the run.

Now he’s 2nd Up at the 2000m (Where he’s won before) and like most of Smithy’s horses, he’ll either go really damn close 2nd up thanks to his magic pixey dust, or he’ll get wiped off the face of the earth.

Actually, why did I even pick Too Close The Sun?

That’s right, to give myself time to edit this piece of crap.

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

Some sedate country music from Craig

LAYING Odeon (No.2, Barrier 6) in Race 7 at Caulfield, 4:10pm AEDT

1600m Group 3 TS Carlyon Cup

Trainer(s): Matthew Ellerton & Simon Zahra, Jockey: Craig Williams, 58kg

Yeeeeessssss once again hello everyone, it’s Crazy Craig, The Boy From Bairnsdale, back with yous for another SUPER SATURDAY, and I tell you what cobbers, it’s bloody fun seeing a GROUP 1 again!

Those 2 months without one were bloody tougher than Crazy Colin trying to stay at the Bowls Club past his curfew!

Anyway, I am heading to The Heath this Saturday, BUT, in accordance with Crazy Craig tradition, I’m not aiming at the CF Orr, I’m going for some knacker on the undercard, who I think, to quote a conversation I once heard on a trip to the Gold Coast, CANNOT WIN!

Odeon went 2 years without winning, before he finally got his consolation prize of winning the Lord Stakes on Boxing Day, and with that shot of heroin-like confidence, he went to Flemington, and reverted back to type, doing nothing as a $2.25 favourite!

What a crazy turn of events!

Now that he’s stepping up to a Group 3 with 58 kilos against some Group 1 winning camels like Harlem, and if you ask me, Odeon will go so poorly, you’ll be mistaken for thinking his name was Odour-eon!

Cracking humour, Crazy Craig!

Anyway, that’s my lay of the day, enjoy your Saturday kiddies, and remember….

I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaaaazy Craig!

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