Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide: 28th March

To be honest, the virus I had my money on Prince Charles contracting was the Hendra virus from Camilla.

If you get that gag, then I say thank you.

Well, racing nearly joined the Australian sporting shutdown (Same with the trots), when jockey Mark Zahra managed to take down the Warwick Farm, Sandown, Ascot and Launceston meetings on Wednesday, after we found out that he’d shared a flight with a confirmed case before the All-Star Mile a fortnight back.

The other big COVID-19 news is that the Easter Oakbank carnival is gone, and the Queensland Winter Carnival is toast, because Racing Queensland divided the state into five different regions, where horses, trainers and jockeys will stay and race, and so they can apparently save $9 million to stay afloat.

The Zahra news also canned the nationwide provincial meetings for Thursday while we waited for the test results, and with Toowooba getting called off due to a separate case, for the first time ever, the collective eyes of the world turned to the hometown of one Glenn Donald McGrath.

Narromine.

After getting smashed by a couple of roughies during the afternoon, the test news broke on Thursday evening, and it matched Zahra’s riding style – Negative.

So with that good news, we’re good to go nationwide for Saturday, and it looks like the Rosehill meeting is exactly the same as last year – Short priced favourites in both Group 1s…. and James McDonald is riding them both.


Verry Elleegant (No.9, Barrier 6) in the Tancred Stakes at Rosehill, 3:50pm AEDT

2400m WFA Group 1

Trainer: Chris Waller, Hoop: James McDonald, 56.5kg

Ah, the Tancred Stakes – Formerly the Mercedes Benz Classic, then The BMW, and now sponsored by KIA.

It remains the only 2400m WFA Group 1 in Australia – A rare feat, considering how many Claytons Group 1s we have.

This year’s edition of the feature Rosehill staing race sees the two leading chances backing up from the Ranvet last week, who coincidentally won the Group 1s on Tancred day last year – VE won the Vinery, and Avilius is back to defend his Tancred victory.

In addition, you’ve got the Lees pair of Mugatoo on the week’s backup from his Manion Cup 2nd (Racing in Group 1 company for the first time), and Mustajeer, recent whipping boy of Master Of Wine.

On paper, it might actually turn out to be a competitive race.

Verry Elleegant has raced very well without winning this prep, with the two runner-up placings in WFA Group 1s, ALTHOUGH, she gets another wet track, and her only run at the 2400m was her Oaks win last year, which to me, is two massive green ticks.

$2.10 is short enough, but I’ll back VE every day of the week, considering Avilius has to find 5L from last week.

Apparently that was his bets run this prep, but I’d be foolish to think he couldn’t make up 5L with an extra 400m.


Big Night Out in Race 9 at Bendigo, 5:25pm AEDT

1400m BM90 Handicap

Trainer: John Sadler, Hoop: Micky Dee, 56kg

I’m partial to Swanny D, but the jury is still out in Micky Dee.

Well, none of you will remember, but I picked Big Night Out on Election Day last year (And he absolutely pissed it in at the 1400m of Flemington) because it was a Bob Hawke omen bet.

Because, you know who enjoyed a Big Night Out?

Hawkie.

A man who understood the electorate.

Big Night Out has had 2 runs back at the 1200m, the last of which was a month ago up the Flemington Straight 6, where he ran a good 2nd to Chicago Cub.

If you ask the brainiacs, he’s ready for the 1400m now, facing such mild opposition as the highly disappointing Jumbo Ozaki, and Ef Troop best remembered for putting half a Magic Millions Classic field into the fence in 2018.

So come on BNO, the millions of people stuck to their couches will need a blast out of Ballarat before we all lose our credit backing Pike in the evening.


Rikibobby (No.4, Barrier 1) in Race 9 at Morphetville, 5:45pm ACDT (6:15)

1400m (One Metro Win) Adelaide Galvanising Handicap

Trainer: Peter Hardacre, Hoop: Teegan Vooram (a3), 56.5kg

I could do the cheap option of putting Funstar as another Rosehill tip, but instead, let’s go to as many states as we can without contracting COVID-19.

To quote Ricky Bobby’s father, Reese Bobby, IF YOU’RE NOT FIRST, YOU’RE LAST.

That was certainly the case for Riki last week in a mighty BM58 at the Morphetville 1400m, as the Talladega Knight powered away to win by 3L, in something resembling a boat race.

Being a Benchmark 58, you wouldn’t expect much more.

In the last of the day in Adelaide, Sky Punch is the favourite, but will lump 62kg, after running in the minor placings in a Benchmark 78 & 72, and on the second line, Rikibobby goes around for the second weekend running off a 7-day backup (Worked out pretty well last week), and he drops 2.5 kilos on the win thanks to Voorham’s claim, and if you the math, he’s now got a lazy 5.5 kilos on Sky Punch.

So, all I can say is, DON’T YOU PUT THAT EVIL ON ME, RIKIBOBBY!


Tuscan Queen (No.1, Barrier 8) in the WA Oaks at Ascot, 5:10pm AWST (8:10)

2200m Group 3 Fillies

Trainer: Grant & Alana Williams, Hoop: The Wizard, 55.5kg

The reason Ascot was abandoned with horses in the mounting yard for Race 4 was because Pikey and Grant Williams were both alongside Mark ‘Patient Zero’ Zahra during that highly successful All-Star Mile meeting at Caulfield – As we all remember, Zahra rode Superstorm to complete the Williams-Peters quinella.

In response, Pikey tried getting a voluntary COVID-19 test, but he was turned away, because he’d only come into contact with a person who had come into contact with a carrier.

What a load of arse – they can instantly test well-known public figures and give them their results within a day because they’re all self-important wankers.

But, when a man who hundreds of thousands of degenerates rely on weekly tries to get a test as a precaution, YOU SAY BLAH BLAH BLAH, NO.

WIZARDS SHOULD HAVE PRIORITY.

Anyway, I won’t get any points for creativity with this tip ($1.35, hahahahaha), but let’s just say our cult hero will find it far easier than getting his hands on a COVID-19 test.


Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

Know when to walk away, know when to run… and know when to self isolate.

LAYING Adelaide Ace (No.1, Barrier 16) in Race 5 at Bendigo, 2:50pm AEDT

2200m 3YO Handicap

Trainer: Lindsey Smith, Jockey: Campbell Rawiller (a3), 60kg

Alright everyone, it’s Crazy Craig, the Quarantined Boy From Bairnsdale, and let me tell you, it’s still bloody peaceful with Crazy Colin not able to come into the Crazy Cave and pinch my bloody beer!

“Why are you pinching my stubbies, Colin?” I would ask.

“I was thirsty!” he’d reply.

THE SAME EXCUSE FOR 25 BLOODY YEARS!

I’M NOT COPPING IT CRAZY COLIN!

Anyway knackers, I took on a favourite at a Bendigo staying race this time last year, and guess what knackers, I’M DOING IT AGAIN!

Today’s target – Adelaide Ace, a horse from Perth, named after Adelaide, racing in BENDIGO!

How crazy is that!

This Adelaide Ace is a good horse – 8 starts for 4 wins and 3 minor placings, most recently running 2nd in the Group 2 Alister Clark at Death Valley.

On that you’d say, yeah pencil him in, BUT, here’s my reasons for taking on the favourite.

He’s 5th Up, he’s got 63 kilos, for which Smith legged Nash Rawiller’s son aboard to give weight relief, and he’s starting from the EXTREME OUTSIDE BARRIER!

You may as well start him from Echucha!

Anyway knackers, I’m a bit flat this week, so stay indoors, give the finger to any wanker that goes to the beach, and Adelaide Ace is my LAY. OF. THE. DAY.

I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me CRAAAZY CRAIG!

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