Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 4th April

Well, I plucked out 2 winners and still ended up in the red.

Gemma’s Son… Unbeaten, starts at $1.45, I take the money back for 3rd… and she runs 4th.

In hindsight, I was long overdue for a down day.

Anyway, a riproaring day for our national sport – The standout was Wendy Roche and Jimmy Innes Jnr winning the Doncaster with the roughie Nettoyer, the mare who lives on a diet of beer and supreme pizza.

After the win, Nettoyer was said to have told Wendy that she felt like a Toohey’s… or two.

In other news, we had the latest deceptive photo finish, this one in Race 4 at Doomben, as it looked like Adelase on the outside had nailed Blackboots.

Here’s what it looked like on Sky:

Via punters.com.au

Although, this was the reversed develop print – Somehow Adelase had held on thanks to Dale Smith getting the nose down.

via Glenn Munsie

The cause of the confusion can be seen in the first image – Sky’s virtual line, that you see on TV, was a half-head before the official finishing post.

Send the graphics crew to Sky 2, thanks.


Colette in the Adrian Knox at Randwick – WINNER

That’s right up there for my favourite performances by a Colette, alongside Muriel’s Wedding, or the 1989 hit Ring My Bell.

She drifted out to $3 at the jump, which seemed to be a case of the market correcting itself.

During the race, it looked more like a loss of punter confidence, especially when she was caught behind a wall 400m out and 5L off the leaders…

And then McDonald got her into clear air, and at the 200m, the TAB may as well have declared correct weight, because she wasn’t losing.

The official margin was a 2.8L pasting, and she’ll go straight to the Oaks next week, and probably start favourite there as well, ahead of a Group 1 winner in Shout The Bar… If you can believe that.

GET HYPED.


Benitote in Race 8 at Caulfield – 3rd

Let’s just say not much went right.

First, it starts pissing down at The Heath, making an already biased track even worse.

Then, Oliver gets caught 4 wide from the jump, so instead of being patient and waiting for a sit, he decides to take off UP THE HILL (Best known as the Pierro 2012 Caulfield Guineas error) to take the lead, because pretty much everything at Caulfield has won sitting on the speed.

They should have checked Ollie for concussion after Russian Camelot threw him off at the barrier for Race 7, because bloody hell, that was a brain fart.

That all lead to Exasperate getting the easiest cart into the race imaginable by tucking in behind Benitoite, and after letting down in the straight, goes straight past her and wins easily, while Benitote battles on well for 3rd.

Meh, what can you do.


Rubisaki in the PJ Bell at Randwick – WINNER

The people’s champion provides the people of Australia with the blast out of Sydney that we needed.

The worry pre-race was that Barrier 2 on a get-back horse would leave her strung up behind traffic for too long, which isn’t necessarily the preferred strategy of a jockey like Nash.

But, he stuck to the inside, and the run came with a classic hip and shoulder on Heart of the Oak, and after that…. it was like watching an eagle sprout wings.

Or watching an eagle rip a hare to pieces.

Either way, she’s a good ‘orse.


Laverrod in Race 9 at Ascot – 2nd

What a pleasant way to end the day – Laverrod got strangled by Carberry sitting directly behind Red Can Man, and then he sat there half-asleep while that old bugger Tranquilla Sunrise made sure he got blocked for a run.

It all told in the end, but to call a spade a shovel, Red Can Man got the better run and was better on the day.

I suppose this also means the Rocket is a shoe-in to start rock-bottom odds whenever his next run is.

For all I know, it’ll be in the Spring.


Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day


Castelvecchio to WIN the Australian Derby – Hahahaha…. Nope

Only one excuse could be provided for the favourite after losing by 21 lengths – He’s crap on wet ground.

What a brilliant way to burn your cash – May as well have used it as toilet paper when the stocks run dry.

I received word from one of my contacts that Crazy Craig had one of his properties on Castelvecchio – That means he’s been reduced to living in the Crazy Cave again.

So, for the fourth year running, the winner of the Tulloch Stakes has backed up 7 days later and won the Derby – This time it was Quick Thinker for the Kiwi wizard Murray Baker, giving him his 5th Derby win in the space of 12 years.

And for the second year running, the Tulloch quinella wound up being the Derby quinella.

No chance I’ll remember that fact in 12 months time.

Still, if you ask me, the funniest moment of the Derby was when a bird took a shit on Opie Bosson’s nose when he was speaking to Sky Racing post-race.

I’m not kidding – Look out 15 seconds into the interview.

They say getting shat on by a bird gives you luck.

Based on Opie’s performance on Melody Belle, I’m calling bullshit on that.

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