Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide: 25th July

Alligator Blood – The Four-Legged Ben Johnson

In case you’re oblivious to the circumstances behind that high-profile disqualification, Alligator Blood got a police escort to the Gold Coast Turf Club on Magic Millions Day.

Whoever crashed their car that Saturday afternoon and clogged up the entire highway knew something we all didn’t.

The other big story of the week – Adam Hyeronimus was found guilty of 30 of 31 betting-related offences, and the best part is you can read through the entire NSW Stewards findings, and ponder just how stupid the human race can be.

You know what else i’m looking forward to?

Him repeatedly appealing the sentence for the next 4 years so he can keep riding.

Anyway, after another hectic 12 months, it’s the last Saturday of the season, and there’s black type sprint races everywhere – The traditional G3 Bletchingly Stakes at Caulfield, the Winter Challenge at Rosehill, the Lightning at Morphetville, and the H.G Nelson Bolton Sprint at Belmont, so get ready for another Saturday snoozefest.


Cracksman (No.3, Barrier 3) in Race 2 at Morphetville, 12:12pm ACST

2500m BM68 AAMI Handicap

Trainer: Danny O’Brien, Hoop: Todd Pannell, 58.5kg

There’s this recent trend of horses sharing names – Before dual-registered names came in, you had Prince Of Arran come to Australia to run placings in the 2018 & ’19 Melbourne Cups, while Prince Of Arran was being trained on the Gold Coast, one-time Melbourne Cup favourite Yucatan had to race as Yucatan Ire because there was another Yucatan with Matt Seyers at Murray Bridge, and now we have Cracksman, who shares the same name as the recent champion son of Frankel.

From dominating British racing to plodding around in Benchmark staying races at Morphetville…. COVID has hit the world’s champion racehorses hard.

This Cracksman, won at Morphetville over the 1800m on his last border hop, then going to the staying trip of 2400m at Bendigo, he finished 3rd to Blandford Lad, who won again at Sandown on Wednesday, so that would suggest the form is holding up, especially for a metro race in Adelaide.

Can win, but I fully expect him not to.


Roheryn (No.6, Barrier 3) in Race 4 at Rosehill, 1:30pm AEST

1100m July Sprint

Trainer: James Cummings, Hoop: Jason Collett, 54.5kg

If wet trackers are the go in Sydney for the 1898th meeting in a row, then I have to stick with Roheryn again, given the superb win he produced a month ago at the very same track and distance, in which he looked absolutely hopeless at the 200m…. only to win eased down.

The gelding clearly does his best work fresh, having won 3 from 3 1st Up, so the ever astute brain that resides in James Cummings’ skull made a point to keep him on the fresh side as he steps up in class.

Expect him to get back and once again have the last crack at a field that appears to have plenty of speed from Special Reward, Star Boy and Eduardo.

So expect him to run about 3rd.


Mystery Shot (No.1, Barrier 5) in Race 9 at Caulfield, 4:53pm AEST

1400m 3YO Handicap

Trainer: Lindsey Smith, Hoop: Michael Rodd, 58.5kg

What a fantastic way to end a Saturday Metro season.

Dragging down an unbeaten 3YO back to my level.

Ever since he came back from Singapore in the Autumn, Michael Rodd has put in the hard yards for Lindsey Smith in the wild wild world of Western Victoria, and it seems to have paid off with the late season 3YO gelding Mystery Shot, who he’s ridden 3 times for 3 wins, the last of which was the best of the lot.

The market didn’t want him at Caulfield a fortnight ago, drifting out to $4.60 having to lump 61.5kg….. only to win eased down by 2.5L

Down 3 kilos on that run, he’s probably the most likely to win anywhere in the land on Saturday, so now that he finally gets a run on the Chalk Eaters, just watch him run 2nd to Lake’s Folly.


Piss Poor Perth Punting

This week in WA – Pikey needs 1 more winner (Between now and next week) to equal his Australian record of 234 winners from last year, and he very nearly had it at Pinjarra yesterday riding Zalaah in Race 2…. only to get run down by a 200/1 shot ridden by a 4-kilo apprentice.

On another note, I’ll mention the passing of someone who 99% of you have never heard of – Harvey Crossman, who was was the president of the WA Racehorse Owners Association.

I couldn’t not mention Harvey’s passing, because I’ll always remember that 4 years ago, he was kind enough to help me out with a feature profile about Darren McAullay that I was writing for a Uni assignment, telling me a story about how Maccer apparently almost missed calling a race because they were too busy having a chat out the back of the box.

I’m not sure if that story was ridgy didge, but I have to say, it was funny.

Harvey seemed like a good bloke, and suffice to say, it was sad to hear he’d left us.


Inspirational Girl (No.8, Barrier 3) in Race 8 at Belmont, 4:30pm AWST

1400m Amelia Park Handicap (72+ Rating)

Trainer: Grant & Alana Williams, Hoop: William Pike, 56kg

5 wins from 6, a win 1st Up, nice low draw, and she’s once again got the services of the mercurial reinsman who provides me with the same tired gag every week.

Imagine if this ends up being the race where Pikey gets his 235th winner for 2019/20.


Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

Musical Hint: That song you play at the end of everything

LAYING Jungle Edge (No.1, Barrier 9) in the Bletchingly Stakes at Caulfield, 3:45pm AEST

1100m Group 3 WFA

Trainer: Mick Bell, Jockey: Jade Darsoe, 58.5kg

Ahoy ahoy assorted lepers, it’s Crazy Craig, the Locked Down Boy From Bairnsdale, here to abuse all the irresponsible self-centred DICKHEADS in Victoria who CAN’T DO THE RIGHT THING BY THE COMMUNITY!

I can’t even go to the Bowls Club with Crazy Colin because of you people!

IT’S GIVING ME THE SHITS!

HE KEEPS COMING OVER TO MY HOME!

No wonder this bloody situation won’t be changing anytime soon – Victoria has the fatal flaw of being full of VICTORIANS!

Speaking of Victorians, Caulfield will be full of them tomorrow, and out of every nag going around tomorrow, I’m not liking the chances of a certain horse who could be older than me!

Jungle Edge is a week away from turning 10, and history tells us he does his best work on rain-affected grounds, as shown by his 3 wins this year, and there’s only one small problem for Micky Bell heading into Saturday….

THERE’S ONLY BEEN 2MM OF RAIN IN THE LAST WEEK, AND THERE’S NONE FORECAST FOR TOMORROW!

WE’RE LOOKING AT A SOFT 5!

As far as I’m concerned, they might as well scratch Jungle Edge, because Viridine would be at half mast if he wasn’t a gelding, knowing that he can put one on the old boy!

JUNGLE EDGE – BRING IT ON.

I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaazy Craig!


Jade Darose…. is she a sibling of Jade Daviolet or Jade Dadaisy?

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