Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide: 22nd August

Special Guest Punter: Adam Hyeronimus

Shortening stride with every step

You wouldn’t believe it if I told you, but….


Next thing you know, Bill Collins is going to make an appearance on The Chase.

Moving on from dead trainers talking to Eddie McGuire, and to the delight of just about nobody, Group 1 racing has arrived for 2020/21 with the running of the Winx Stakes at Randwick, formerly the signature Warwick Stakes at Warwick Farm, which was always a Group 2, until the Australian Pattern Committee decided to add it to the massive deluge of Group 1 races which has gripped Australia, ironically in a time of severe drought.

If you ask me and dozens of other nuffies, there are way too many Group 1 races in Australia…. even the frikkin’ Surround Stakes is a Group 1.

As for support races, there’s also the Group 3 Toy Show and the Show County on the Randwick undercard., plus some action at Moonee Valley with the Listed McKenzie and the Carlyon Stakes, and if there’s anything else, it’s irrelevant.

But, if you think I’m here to give you tipping advice on a Group 1, hahahaha, you’ve never seen my work before.

It’s Me (No.14, Barrier 7) in Race 2 at Randwick, 12:35pm AEST

1100m TAB Highway Class 2 Handicap

Trainer: Brett Cavanough, Hoop: Jason Collett, 54kg

Another horse name you could fit into a timeless song:

True story – Todd Rundgren produced Meatloaf’s Bat Out Of Hell.

Anyway, this could be the first time I’ve actually picked a runner in the weekly Highway races, which, from what I’ve seen, would be better off being advertised as the Highways To Hell, because that’s where your money usually heads.

Brett Cavanough appears to have the two aces in the pack for this week’s edition, sending down Pinnacle Prince and It’s Me from Scone, on the back of two very handy maiden wins at the Hunter track in the past month.

I tend to favour the mare, having seen her win at Scone on debut about 3 weeks ago as a 4-year-old mare, and I remember it because I backed the heavily-backed shortie Not Another Reibiy that got beaten by a space age

If you understand sectional times (Which I still don’t), she came from off the speed and ran 34.10s for her last 600m, and after having to change course, she went at a lazy 11.64s for the final furlong, the best final split of the entire meeting by 7-tenths.

There’s every chance that It’s Me is going to get sink going from a country maiden to a Class 2, but I refuse to believe Brett Cavanough is that stupid, so consider me a sucker for the mare to at least run in the Top 3.

Tailleur (No.4, Barrier 6) in Race 2 at Moonee Valley, 1:25pm AEST

1200m Dr Sheahan Plate (Mares BM84)

Trainer: James Cummings, Hoop: Mark Zahra, 58kg

Ah, Tailleur – The horse named after a woman’s tailor-made suit.

Looking very smart, Tailleur has started life with 3 wins from 4 starts in Sydney, and now takes the one-way ticket to Melbourne for the Spring.

On the back of creaming everyone at Rosehill a fortnight back, the Godolphin mare will jump as one of the shortest priced runners on the Melbourne card, and it’ll take a serious batch of elephant juice to stop her from taking out this tailor-made race.

The ever unreliable speedmap says Mark Zahra has the option to cruise to the lead and control things, so now that I’ve said that, just watch her get taken down by the tight Valley track, like many a once good ‘orse.

Piss Poor Perth Punting Section

Another great WA horse has left us too soon – The champion filly/mare Delicacy passed away at age 9 on Thursday, after an allergic reaction to Penicillin… of all things.

Delicacy was a deadset hero in WA racing – She won both the Australasian Oaks and the SA Derby in the space of a week in 2015, thumping Werther, who went on to clean up in Hong Kong, and in her last start, she won the 2016 Perth Cup carrying 59 kilos, virtually unheard of for a 4-year-old mare, although the sad downside was she tore both her front tendons and never raced again.

Leading Girl (No.3, Barrier 6) in Race 5 at Belmont, 2:28pm AWST

1400m Glenroy Chaff Handicap

Trainers: Grant & Alana Williams, Hoop: Jarrad Noske, 56kg

Yes, I am tipping a Bob Peters-Team Williams horse this Saturday.

No, it’s not Windstorm at Death Valley, because I’m not sure how Pikey will go at the Valley, because we don’t have a track like it over in WA.

So that said, this is where I sprout more bullshit about closing sectionals, because that’s what Leading Girl accomplished first-up from an injury a fortnight ago, enduring a tough run in transit, before absolutely unleashing in the straight to run 2nd by about 3/4 to Nerodiro, apparently running the fastest final 400m of the entire Belmont meeting.

Obviously that was at the 1200m, and she now goes up to 1400m, but she has won at the distance, and boasts a 2/2 record 2nd Up, so pencil her in to run a flashing 2nd.

Money Matters (No.8, Barrier 5) in Race 8 at Belmont, 4:30pm AWST

1000m Iron Jack Handicap (78+ Rating)

Trainer: Adam Durrant, Hoop: Clint ‘The Hyphenator’ Johnston-Porter, 55.5kg

Oh look, a song about money.

In the second to last on the card at Belmont, which will be brimming with Dockers fans waiting for their inevitable crushing defeat on Saturday, it’s an interesting contest between Jericho Missile back to the 1000m, and Listed winner Money Matters, who ran 2nd to the short-course specialist We’ve Got Dreams in a promising 1st Up run.

The Gabster would usually tell me to not bet in 1000m races, but I know for a fact that The Gabster didn’t even follow his own rules last weekend, given he had financial investments in both a 900m race and a 1000m race.

So, Money Matters?

Yes, yes it does.

Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

After last week’s success, Craig has requested that Lucky Lips become his theme song.

Roheryn EACH WAY in the Show County Quality at Randwick (SR5), 2:25pm AEST

1200m Group 3

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Jason Collett, 53kg

Hello hello again friends, it’s Crazy Craig, The Boy From Bairnsdale, and you know what I think?

I think I’m going to keep picking up winning bets until I don’t, which will probably happen with my pick of the day for tomorrow!

After last week’s success with Varda, I figure I may as well push the envelope with yet another Godolphin runner, who comes in with the fitness edge over the likes of Special Reward, Wild Planet, Probabeel, and the market elect Funstar.

Roheryn ran a narrow 2nd to Eduardo just on a month ago in the July Sprint, and that form was apparently franked by Eduardo going out and winning the Group 2 Missile Stakes a fortnight back, and with Roheryn’s track record of big runs while fresh, Jim Cummings sent him straight off for a tickover trial.

Still, as they say, Funstar is the favourite for a reason, being a Group 1 winner as a 3-year-old, but I’ll crane my neck like I always do and say BRING IT ON, and probably end up with the scars to show for it!


I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaazy Craig!

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