In Case You Missed It – The Manning Jack Attack Feature in the Bowls WA Jack Hi Magazine!

With the State of Origin decider raging on the big screen in the Manning Memorial clubhouse, it was time for the penultimate round of the Greatest Community Bowls Comp between Manning Road and the Canning River, and in golf, they’d call a day like this Moving Day, with Week 5 being the last chance for teams to make serious moves up the ladder before the Finals next week to end a riveting 2020 Manning Jack Attack season.

I can inform the readers that the ladder has been revised after the S.cool Dads pointed out they should’ve been on 6 points (Instead of 5) for winning 3 sets up to Week 4, and the Marg’s V11, who were listed as having 6 points, should’ve been on 3 points, given they didn’t win or tie a set from Weeks 1 through 3.

You’ll find a revised ladder in this report, and in the previous November 11 review.

The only other piece of team news is that the Ring Ins have officially been renamed the Orphans by Half Price, and they won’t be able to object to it because they’re just a team created from thin air to even up the numbers.

As for the conditions this week, the Perth weather (20°C, low winds and about 72% humidity) was pretty much the best it’s been all season, and I know that for a fact, because for once I didn’t need to wear my jumper after sundown on a Wednesday night.

The Overall Night

The night began with the second of the Corner To Corner challenges, which featured the debut of a separate Corner To Corner for the 10 teams playing on the Grass, rather than simultaneously having 2 competitions on the Synthetic, as has been conducted in the past.

Given the proximity to the bar, most eyes were on the Synthetic, which was taken out by Gayle from the Bowled & The Beautiful!

The Grass Corner To Corner was taken out by Julia from the Bowling Stones II, which continues this case of beginner’s luck that Tiffany and the ladies have been experiencing – Unfortunately I didn’t get a photo of Julia with the winning shot due to ‘time constraints.’

Turning to the games, and the highest scoring team on the night to claim the $30 were the nefarious Trevor Chappells, featuring this inept reporter, who scored a +21 victory against the Top Shots, set up by a ‘full house’ of 6 (12) on their 1st Set powerplay.

The contest for 2nd overall and the $20 was extremely close, with 3 teams finishing on +16, forcing a ‘Total Shots’ countback, which narrowly went the way of the Lawn Clippings (22 shots) over The Habibs (21), and the CDs (19), who, despite playing the Orphans (Made up of their own teammates), still couldn’t get in the money.

It’s also worth noting the Lawn Clippings defeated the T-Birds to get that money, so in a way, Kochie has helped derail the CDs.

With the Trevor Chappells and Lawn Clippings winning, combined with The Habibs thumping of the previously unbeaten Ten Pin, the Jack Attack Grand Final next week on ‘TV Rinkside’ will feature the underarm of the Trevor Chappells (1st) against the Lawn Clippings (2nd), appearing in their third consecutive Manning Jack Attack Grand Final, and the whispers are former skipper Jack Garbin will be spirited in from Merredin.

Get your tickets on Ticketmaster or at the gate, this is going to be an old-fashioned humdinger.

The ‘Bronze Medal’ match will feature 3rd placed Great Bowls Of Fire (Who defeated Alpha Tauri in straight sets) against the Habibs, who climbed from 7th to 4th spot over the Bowlshoviks by a mere +2 on score differential, which goes to show there’s no such thing as junk time ends in Jack Attack.

And in the 5th vs 6th consolation, it will obviously be The Bowlshoviks against Week 4 leaders Ten Pin, who fell so far down the ladder with that defeat they almost needed a parachute.

Looking now at some of the other results on Wednesday night, there were some thrillers.

The Bowlshoviks won the 1st Set 10-0 against Missing Moo’s, then went 1-7 down after 4 Ends in the 2nd Set, but in a roaring finish, the Bowlshoviks held 3 on their last end powerplay to tie the set 7-7 and seal the win, while the Marg’s V11 made it consecutive tiebreak wins in defeating Team 180, The Bowled & The Beautiful won a high scoring contest against the Babes With Balls in a tiebreak after scores were deadlocked at 15 apiece through 2 sets.

The Bowling Stones II also claimed their first legitimate win in Jack Attack against the Lockdown, but on the other hand…

The cruel story of this Jack Attack has been the poor old S.cool Dads, who have now played in and lost 4 tiebreaks, this week losing to the Hyperbowles, despite outscoring them 16-8.

Tiffany and the Stones specifically requested a matchup against the S.cool Dads next Wednesday, so I think we can expect some fireworks.

Also, Nat from the CDs has requested the Eagles hide a particular pair of bowls somewhere for her to use next week, so to anyone playing at Manning Memorial between now and next Wednesday, remember to pinch these ‘bird’ bowls when you see them:

Results

Scoring – 2 points for a set win, 1 point for a tied set, 1 for a tiebreak win, tiebreaks aren’t counted in score differential

Grass 1: Bowling Stones II (4pts +13) defeated Lockdown

Grass 2: Covid Shots (3pts +10) defeated Shiny Shiny Lawn Bowls (1pt -10) – 2nd Set was a 4-4 tie

Grass 3: Hyperbowles (3pts -8) defeated S.cool Dads (2pts +8) – Hyperbowles won 1-0 in a tiebreak, S.cool Dads were ahead 16-8 on total shots

Grass 4: Marg’s V11 (3pts -1) defeated Team 180 (2pts +1) – Marg’s V11 won 1-0 in a tiebreak, Team 180 were ahead 11-10 on total shots

Grass 5: The Bowlshoviks (3pts +10) defeated Missing Moo’s (1pt -10) – 2nd Set was a 7-7 tie

Synthetic 1: CDs (4pts +16) defeated Orphans – Orphans were mainly compromised of spare CDs

Synthetic 2: Great Bowls Of Fire (4pts +7) defeated Alpha Tauri

Synthetic 3: Young Guns (3pts +5) defeated Crawshaw Crisis Committee (1pt -5) – 2nd set was a 4-4 tie

Synthetic 4: The Habibs (4pts +16) defeated Ten Pin

Synthetic 5: Trevor Chappells (4pts +21) defeated Top Shots

Synthetic 6: Lawn Clippings (4pts +16) defeated T-Birds

Synthetic 7: Bowled & The Beautiful (3pts 0) defeated Babes With Balls (2pts 0) – Bowled & The Beautiful won 3-0 in a tiebreak, total score was 15-15

Captain’s Comments

Nat/Helen/Marg/Kelly, CDs: “The CDs played with between themselves because the opposition never came arrived – End result, everyone was happy!”

Loose Bruce, Great Bowls Of Fire: “We chipped away in the 1st Set, there was a lot of 1s, then we had a good 2nd Set powerplay and got 2 for 4, came back on the last end and won – Happy days!”

Kym & Malcolm, Crawshaw Crisis Committee: “We were only playing with 2 7/8ths men tonight – Decker was drunk, Peter was sick, Patsy was working, and our cheersquad (Bev & Hazel) was worn out from doing cartwheels the previous week!”

Malcolm on the game: “We did all our best work in practice – Peaked too early.”

On this reporter’s Movember moustache: “Why cultivate hair on your upper lip when it grows wild on your backside.”

Unofficial Ladder

Please note – This may be subject to further change.

Trevor Chappells vs Top Shots

Needing a win to guarantee a Top 2 finish, the Trevor Chappells took on last week’s 2nd placed team the Top Shots, compromised of the very friendly and lovely lineup of Irene, Leslie, Gerry and Gordon, and I genuinely mean those compliments, because myself, Rocket and Ron enjoyed a good conversation with them all night, and that’s part of what brings you down to a community social bowls tournament like Manning.

In another quirky case of scheduling, the Chappells played their fourth game out of 5 on the Synthetic, once again being drawn on Synthetic 5.

Some may call that bias towards a top team, but all it shows is that the teams who keep getting sent to the Grass rinks need to up their bribes ‘gifts’ to Half Price.

1st Set (Trevor Chappells 18-4)

The Trevor Chappells won the toss and bowled first, and fresh off getting a short back and sides from the hairdressers that morning, JT sent a very ominous message bowling as the lead, sitting his second shot no more than a foot behind the jack.

Ron increased the hold to 2 ahead of the final pairs, and continuing on from the carnage he caused last week, Rocket was able to knock out JT’s shot and take the Jack with it, with his second shot increasing the final hold to 4, with Gordon’s brown bowl (As shown in the bottom of the picture) able to deny Ron (On the far left) with how far the kitty had moved.

On the 2nd End, it looked like being more of the same for the TCs with JT and Ron holding on back bowls (Ron actually hit his own shot out), but Leslie was able to limit the damage to just JT’s holder by sneaking in her final shot, with the jack high angle giving Top Shots the second holder over Rocket, making the score 5-0.

On the 3rd End, Irene switched from her pair of narrow bowls to a pair of mismatched older bowls with a band of red rings, but what difference it made would have to wait to be seen.

On another good length end, it was Rocket who got himself into holding position, and his shot was able to survive a forehand from Gordon that got itself through a gap, but fell short of nudging out the holder, making it hat-trick of Chappell holds to make it 6-0.

Needing something to get into the contest, Gerry and the Top Shots called the powerplay for the 4th End, and after setting up a long end, JT had to come in via the cape to hold ahead of Irene.

But, in a rare victory for the Top Shots, Gordon followed JT’s wide forehand line and knocked out the holder!

Rocket could only manage to hit JT’s shot before somehow splitting both shots again, then Gerry actually produced a shot even better than Gordon’s to make it 2 for the Top Shots on the powerplay, cutting the score to 6-4 with an end to go.

So with an end to go, the Top Shots needed another hold of 2 to tie the scores and claim a point, or hold 3 to win the set, but the Trevor Chappells had the powerplay up their sleeve for the 5th End, setting up a final end next to nobody could’ve expected.

It started when JT touched the jack on his first shot, but missed out on a drinks voucher because Kochie had won it 30 seconds earlier on the adjacent Rink 6.

As the Top Shots found themselves unable to land a shot in bounds, let alone adjust their lines, the Chappells’ hold grew from 2, to 3 to 4, then 5, and it was entirely possible they’d held a ‘full house’ of 6 shots on the powerplay, when it came down to measurement between Gerry (The black & lime green in the bottom) and Ron, who were split about 8 feet either side of the jack.

With Pricey occupied elsewhere, it was left to Rocket to measure it out in literal feet.

From that angle, it looks more like someone performing a sobriety test in front of a police officer.

Anyway, the deck shoe shuffle showed that Ron’s shot was ahead by around a heel’s length, giving the Trevor Chappells the extremely rare hold of 6, and with the powerplay it was a whopping 12 to make it 18-4!

During the presentation, John from The Habibs was right in mentioning that his team held 6 against against the-then Team No Hope earlier this year, although this was the first time myself or The Rocket (And Ron) had achieved a so-called ‘Perfect End’ in the 3 years we’ve been playing at Manning Memorial.

It’s one thing to get a perfect end, but to get it on a powerplay is nothing short of insane.

To be honest, I did feel slightly bad for the Top Shots after that end, because they were very lovely to talk to and play against.

2nd Set (Trevor Chappells 8-1)

On a long opening end for the 2nd Set, JT randomly decided to bowl around the feet of Rink 4, almost causing an ankle injury to a Ten Pin player, while Irene surprised everyone by producing her best shot of the night, sneaking in ahead of Ron to hold before the final pairs!

Unfortunately for the Top Shots, Rocket just had to edge her out with an old-fashioned laser, and the Trevor Chappells were away again.

The 2nd End wasn’t as eventful, as the Trevor Chappells took a ‘simple’ hold of 4 in a team effort, which JT didn’t quite capture for the report, as he figured it was only 3 with one of Gerry’s back bowls in play, which had actually been edged out for fourth holder by Ron.

JT claims it was because he’d just downed a handle of Swanny D.

On the 3rd End, Leslie took the jack and sent it right out onto the backhand side for us right handers, forcing JT to bowl his first documented backhand in human history, which was okay, but not as good as Ron, who was holding 2 after Gordon endured some rotten luck…

But, Gerry showed he didn’t need the Pacemakers, and fittingly, right as JT suggested to Irene that the captain bowl on the blue line, Gerry did just that, he got his weight right, and the bowl found the gap between Ron’s shots to take the hold, cutting the score to 5-1.

This time around, the Top Shots didn’t take the powerplay on the 4th End, setting up a double powerplay to end the set.

It wouldn’t have done much, as Ron edged out Gordon for the hold on the much shorter 4th End, making it 6-1 to the Trevor Chappells.

Needing to hold 3 to force a tiebreak, the Top Shots never really had a chance on the last end after JT took the jack (again) as the lead, which also had the effect of obstructing the view of the other bowlers, given the bowl settled a foot short of the jack.

The result was something resembling lawn bowls social distancing, with pretty much nothing getting within 6 feet of the holder, meaning it was a fairly simple hold of 1 on the powerplay, with Gerry declared the 2nd holder to conclude the 2nd Set.

It was a far closer set to finish the night, but ultimately the same outcome, as the Trevor Chappells, on the back of another team effort from JT, Rocket Rod and Ron, moved to 5 wins from as many games, and alongside confirming a Grand Final appearance, for the first time ever under their various guises (Team Hope/Team Some Hope/Team No Hope/Trevor Chappells) scored the biggest win of the night with that 26-5 (+21) win.

It won’t be so easy next week, as the Manning Jack Attack season reaches its climax…

Can the Trevor Chappells underarm bowl their way to victory?