Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: 19th December

I tell you, I’ve seen some crap go down at the Waterford TAB, but today’s episode might top the lot, even ahead of when The Gabster spat at the TV after thinking a No.8 had lost in a photo – It won.

So it’s around lunchtime, and there I am sitting with Mr Alfonse and The Critic talking about life after watching Sausedge sizzle late at Randwick to run 2nd, when a scene breaks out at the counter between Mr James and a customer with his missus, and it seems the customer did something slightly illegal involving possession of money, that had our owner/operator swearing at him and getting ready to call the police.

Now a shouting match in the Waterford TAB between patrons and the folk behind the till are a regular occurrence, but what happened next, you just had to see to believe.

Knowing he’s in the shit, the bloke and his missus try making a quiet exit, only for the sliding doors to lock shut before they can reach the exit, so in a moment of madness, the bloke, who wasn’t exactly built like a pro wrestler, pries open a gap and gets out, creating an almighty crack in the glass and destroying the closing mechanism, pissing us off the whole afternoon as the glare made it impossible to see the board for Doomben, with this whole incident caught on CCTV for the cops to enjoy.

Yes just ignore the slab of Carlton Dry

Now, apparently there were a few races on today?

Bartholomeu Dias in Race 1 at Flemington – 4th

And for the first time on the day…

****IN’ 4TH AGAIN!

Personally, I thought the ride from John Allen was totally fine – Kept the horse out of trouble and presented at the top of the straight, but at the end of the day, old Bartholomeu Dias just bobbed up and down like he was still exploring the Cape Of Good Hope.

Accountability in Race 4 at Randwick – 7th

It’s only fitting that the one week I don’t pick Gone Bye and play the Bay City Rollers, Gone Bye manages to win.

From the Sky Racing Twitter

Don’t worry, my lost Accountability is in there.


Ruuca in Race 7 at Doomben – 4th

Just got too far back and subsequently missed the places by a bee’s dick

As they say in the classics…. EFFIN’ FOURTH AGAIN!

Yeah, the damage was done at the start when he jumped poorly and had to settle last, while Racecourse Road controlled things from the front and was never headed at any stage, then it looked like Ruuca got shifted out by Akasaki on the turn and wound up as the widest runner of them all, but he did show a very nice turn of foot to wind up 4th, and all told, that bump probably did cost him a Top 3 finish.

Dig Deep E/W in Race 9 at Ascot – WINNER



Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day

Kordia in Race 9 at Randwick – Arse end of nowhere

From the Sky Racing Twitter

How’s this for judgement from the Boy From Bairnsdale:

The favourite Big Parade won the race.

The second favourite Mo’s Crown ran 2nd.

The horse on the fourth line of betting Poetic Charmer ran 3rd.

And Craig’s pick Kordia, who sat on the third line, ran 8th.

I guess that’s why they call him Craaaaaaazy Craig!

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