Horse Racing

A Tale From The Waterford TAB

This story comes from my always reliable colleague Mr Alfonse.

One fine Friday afternoon, Mr Alfonse was at the TAB with our elderly friend The Gabster, best known for always picking the No.8, his theories on Names And Numbers, his dislike of The Trivago Girl, 1000m races and Damien Oliver, and on this Friday, The Gabster decided that he was going to take 5 favourites in a row at the day’s Sale meeting (Races 4-8), and that he was going to pick the First 4 in all those races.

Sitting next to The Gabster before Race 7, Mr Alfonse suggested he go for a trifecta instead of a First 4 to give himself a better chance of winning, so Gab said “Eff it”, and used his last $30 ($15 apiece) on a First 4 and trifecta ticket.

In an 11 horse field, Gab picked the number 8 and put in another four numbers; 1,3,5 and 9, and if you do the math, five runners from a $15 bet gave him 25% of the trifecta, and 12.5% of the First 4.

Long story short, the race was run, and The Cook steamed over the top and won at $7, and the good news was not only did The Gabster get a share of the $252 trifecta ($63) thanks to Tycoon Felix (No.9) and Tiny Hussy (No.8), Whatarap (No.3) got in for 4th and the First 4 paid $1437, giving him just over $179.


As Gab went up to collect his winnings, the trifecta ticket was all good and paid out, but there was an issue with the First 4 ticket.

With his sight not great as his advanced age and not wearing his glasses, The Gabster had marked 7 instead of 8 on his First 4 ticket.

The 7, We’ll Meet Again, had run 6th at $71.

All you could hear from the desk as Gabby stood at the till fuming…..

“You should use your bloody glasses, Gab!”

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