Hello strangers, since about 3pm this afternoon, I’ve struggled to find song to describe this horror show of a Saturday that wasn’t performed by Kevin Bloody Wilson, so here’s a Split Enz favourite.

POOR BOY.

So to explain, I had 4 units of my standard $30 throughout the day, which is an above average output by my low standards.

First, I followed Crazy Craig and backed Dom To Shoot for the place hoping he’d do something…. Dom shanked his kick out on the full, and was last seen floating back towards Epsom Road.

Then I backed Collette in the Chipping Norton Stakes, given she just had a little bit more value in the market than Verry Elleegant, and Colette lost by a head to Verry Elleegant in an all-time driving finish, in which Kolding in 5th was a mere 0.8L off the winner.

So with the money back for ‘Toni’ Colette, I then hopped on Never Talk for a place in the Surround Stakes, and next thing you know, she just didn’t make up enough ground and ran 4th, just to rub crap in my eyes.

Then I went for Greysful Glamour to place in the last at Flemington, and despite getting the lead, she was up Schitt’s Creek before the whips had even started cracking and dropped out.

And finally, I went for Sky Lab straight out in Race 8 at Randwick, with the line of thinking that he could take it up to Great House and potentially win.

I didn’t realise Sky Lab was going to get a barrier trial and never see daylight, as yet another $20+ winner popped up.

I HAVEN’T BACKED A WINNER SINCE LAST SATURDAY – WHAT MORE CAN A POOR BOY DO?

Dom to Shoot in the Australian Guineas at Flemington – 13th/15

Dear god, Lunar ****in’ Fox.

That is without a doubt one of the most sickening results ever seen on an Australian racecourse.

A horse that got dropped off 13.2 LENGTHS BY TAGALOA AT IT’S LAST START AND SHOWED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, SOMEHOW TURNS THAT FORM AROUND AND WINS A GROUP 1.

Keep going on about how the blinkers going on magically did the trick, because people with memories like elephants will believe the Preusker stable, especially with their track record with horses.

$251 on SuperTAB, $301 with a couple of corporates (Ladbrokes and Neds), and $401 on PointsBet…

In case you didn’t hear, it’s officially the longest-priced Group 1 win in the history of Australian racing, and before you mention Pablo’s Pulse in the 1987 Warwick Stakes, yes, he was 500/1, but the Warwick Stakes was a Group 2 until 2017, which does still make Pablo the longest-priced feature race winner in Australian history.

As Rafael Nadal would say… Ombelievable.

Anyway, from ‘our’ end, Dom To Shoot was given every possible chance by Pike as he settled further forward from the middle gate, and even though he was 3-wide in transit he did have cover, but after being straightened up, it was nothing short of tragedy, misery and sadness as Dom simply didn’t fire a shot, and weakened out to finish a disappointing 13th under hard riding.

Craig went for the value, and it turned out there was value everywhere except Dom To Shoot, and to be honest, if I were William Pike, I wouldn’t be taking any rides at racecourses in the general vicinity of Bairnsdale for the next few months, because I get the feeling Crazy Craig would be lurking in the bushes ready to abuse him until the end of time…

Or until he forgets who he’s abusing, because after all, he is CRAZY.

Fair dinkum, how many $20+ dollar winners just kept rolling in today….. It was akin to the Lufftwaffe flying over London for months on end.