Based on a series of believable events in a regional Victorian town

JT’s Tancred Stakes Pick – The Chosen One

You know folks, the kiddies of today won’t even know what it was like to have no Good Friday racing and no Good Friday footy to help us get through the most tedious day of the year.

I actually had to talk to my family members and do things with them… We’ve all been left scarred by the experiences.

So on that note, among the many major races on Easter Saturday – The Dongara Cup (Believe or not, my mum’s gone up there), the Karrakatta Plate, The Easter Cup, the Oakbank races – It’s Tancred Stakes Day to conclude the Rosehill Carnival, on what was originally going to be the first day of The Championships at Randwick, and last week on Slipper Day we saw Crazy Craig come back with a bang by tipping his first winner in a month (Annavisto in the Bendigo Guineas), and his Each-Way play on Tricky Gal in the last at Rosehill paid off when she finished 2nd at $3.50 the place, which was as good as a win in my eyes.

It was also appropriate that last week was my 888th post, because Stay Inside wore No.8 as he duly saluted in the Golden Slipper, and Annavisto had No.8 at Bendigo when she won – Let me tell you, The Gabster from the Waterford TAB (Who loves his No.8s) wasn’t spitting at the TV last Saturday.

So after the success last week, I asked Mr Alfonse if he could send a message to Crazy Craig asking the BFB (Boy From Bairnsdale) if he was very willing to find another 2 picks and give us a laugh, because as some of you may remember, I mentioned that Craig pulled his landline out and didn’t go to Shepparton for a 25th anniversary celebration with his mate, sparking a text message to Mr Alfonse asking “Where is this ****ing lunatic?”

But, I can report that after going missing all week, it appears Craig has answered that relayed email, so let’s go straight to the Lucky Lips theme music – Hit it Sir Cliff!

Impecunious (No.8, Barrier 9) E/W in the Vinery Stud Stakes at Rosehill (SR6), 3:55pm AEDT

2000m 3YO Fillies Group 1 SW

Trainers: Trent Busuttin & Natalie Young, Jockey: Damien Oliver, 56kg

Hello hello friends, it’s Crazy Crazy Craig, The Boy From Bairnsdale, back for another swing in the imaginary ring after my awesome performance last week, and after a few weeks of avoiding Group 1 racing, because quite I’ve found our current lot to camels to be sub-par, I figure it’s time I went BANG, and decided to have a crack at the second-biggest race of the day at Rosehill, the Vinery Stud Stakes!

Now a few weeks back, my mate Crazy Colin, better known as The Bairnsdale Beer Thief, told me about this horse called Impecunious, and most of the time I don’t give two shits what Crazy Colin says because he’s a BEER THIEF, but I decided to take a look at the horse!

Quite frankly, I have no idea what Impecunious means, so I looked it up on the google, and apparently it means having little or no money, which perfectly describes yours truly after I’ve spent a day on the pokies!

As for the horse, she’s only had the 5 career starts for 2 wins and 2 placings, which suggests that the upside is still to come, and both her runs this prep have been in Group 2 races, first at Caulfield where you would’ve been left retching on the floor, and last start in the Phar Lap Stakes, where she got too far back, got held up and bashed around, and had to settle for 3rd after being sound late in the race!

BUT KNACKERS, I think the big change for the Kiwi filly from New Zealand against the likes of Hungry Heart might be that she’s finally out to something resembling a staying distance for the first time which might give her a bit more time to settle and charge home late, and quite frankly folks, I couldn’t take any of these slack-jawed losers heading up the field!

Hungry Heart – No thanks, I think I’ve already eaten!

Harmony Rose – She’s a bloody shrinking violet!

Personal – HEART AS BIG AS A PEA.

Force Of Will – WHO THE HELL IS FORCE OF WILL?

So there you are kids, my first pick – IMPECUNIOUS to have a shot at a place AT LEAST!

Shandy (No.9, Barrier 2) in Race 9 at Caulfield, 5:30pm AEDT

1600m BM90 Geoff Murphy Handicap

Trainers: Matthew Ellerton & Simon Zahra, Jockey: Damian Lane, 54.5kg

Ah knackers, who doesn’t enjoy a Shandy on a Saturday afternoon?

I know I certainly don’t, because it’s GOT BLOODY LEMON IN IT!

Anyway, an ice cold Shandy might just be the blast-out I need on Easter Cup day at Caulfield, because any day of punting at that hellhole requires some form of grog to help you forget, and this final race is no exception!

Shandy resumed 1st Up at Sandown in mid-March after her 2020 Spring ended when she pulled up lame in the Naturalism Stakes, but the return was nothing short of real and spectacular, despite some nervous moments when she was held up from the 400m to the 250m, and all that did was prevent her from winning by 2 or 3 more lengths!

That gave her 4 wins from her last 5 starts, and going from a midweek BM84 to a Saturday BM90, she’s fitter for the run, has the 2nd Up runs on the board with 2 wins from 3 goes (Including last Spring), she retains the services of the Bunbury Bogan Damian Lane, and drops from 55.5 to 54.5kg!

But, there’s no such thing as a sure thing, given Re Edit and Skyman aren’t slouches from the C.Waller yard, and Ritratto is the unknown South Australian from South Australia who could very easily pull off a hit and run win crossing the border!

Hahahahaha, who am I kidding, what I meant to say is, they’re all shithouse and they’ve all got hearts as big as peas, so go Shandy, my second PICK OF THE DAY.

Enjoy your long weekend knackers, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me CRAAAAAAAZY Craig!

Impecunious has number 8… it could be another GABBY SPECIAL!