Horse Racing

Crazy Colin’s Picks of the Day: 17th July

Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

This moment, like this entire article, is what we could call “Surrealism”

Idea for the next new race name in New South Wales: THE CLUSTER

Good afternoon everyone, and while New South Wales keep naming races in the style of Seinfeld episode titles (THE INVITATION), I was watching the Northam races yesterday, and I tell you what, the best two-horse race of the day was Darren McAullay up against the broadcast box telephone during Race 4:

I’m surprised that pick up and slam down wasn’t louder.

Moving on, it’s been a tumultuous week in the great game, as the legendary Irish sire Galileo died at the age of 23, having sired a world record total of 91 Group One winners, 20 of whom became sires themselves, most notably the undefeated Frankel, Racing New South Wales organised The Invitation for Cox Plate Day at Randwick, and apparently you do need an invitation to get a run in it, Ben Thompson got 4 months off for concealing a horse swap during a jumpout, and sadly today…

Laurie Laxon, 1988 Melbourne Cup winning trainer of Empire Rose, and the ‘King of Kranji’ in Singapore, died at the age of 75.

Lee Freedman – From one great Singapore trainer to another

Laurie once joked after he moved from New Zealand to Singapore in 1999 that it was as if he’d died and gone to heaven, and with some justification, because he’s the only trainer to crack 1,000 winners in the history of Singapore (He finished up north of 1,250), the first trainer to surpass 100 winners in a season in Singapore, and all up he claimed 9 trainers premierships on the island city.

Now, he’s gone the whole hog and actually died and gone to heaven.

So moving on to the weekend’s lockdown riddled card, with only two weeks to go until this season ends, and all we’ve got in the way of stakes racing is the Belmont Classic, but the more interesting race of the day is the Flemington Cup 1849, named after a cup from a race that was run in the area surrounding the current Flemington Racecourse on January 15 1849, and if you know your history, that was a period of time when Melbourne was still part of the Colony of New South Wales, because Victoria wasn’t officially partitioned until July 1, 1851.

Now, that’s enough of a ramble, here’s Crazy Colin with his Picks of the Day, and this week, he’s sent me a voice mail that a certain Mr Allan Sherman left on his answering machine….

It also appears Colin almost listened to last week’s ‘Sex Pick’, because he appears to have gone Race 6…. NUMBER 8.


Degraves (No.8, Barrier 8) in Race 6 at Flemington (MR6), 3pm AEST

1600m Sir Eugene Gorman Handicap

Trainer: Robert Hickmott, Jockey: Will Price (a1.5), 54kg

Hello everyone, it’s Crazy Colin, Crazy By Association to Crazy Craig, gearing up for Lockdown Number 5 here in Victoria, and let me tell you, if that big eared commie Daniel Andrews doesn’t declare war on New South Wales for being as useless in managing their outbreak as Crazy Craig is with his mobile phones, I’ll drive up into New South Wales through Wodonga and tell them to PISS OFF!

And let me tell you, that’s not a comparison you want, because Craig just went through another phone, which was the replacement for the one he threw in the river a few months back!

Now, what’s the point of all of this, Crazy Colin?

STOP THROWING YOUR BLOODY PHONES IN THE RIVER AND START LOCKING DOWN AND CONTROLLING YOUR BLOODY OUTBREAKS!

Moving on, and last week I kicked off with a punny joke, and now I’ve got another one to tell you my Pick of the Day for Flemington.

Where do undertakers bury their corpses?

…..

…..

……

DEGRAVES!

That’s it, that’s my pick – Degraves, the Irish horse from Ireland, to BURY THEM ALIVE in Race 6!


UPDATE: THEY BLOODY WELL SCRATCHED IT…. MAY AS WELL JUST PICK DICE ROLL.



Well, there’s Colin filling us with great detail about why he’s picked Degraves, but the key takeway is that he’s backed Number 8 in Barrier 8.

That almost qualifies as a Gabster special!


Each-Way Pick of the Day: Kordia (No.9, Barrier 13) in Race 8 at Randwick, 1:20pm AEST

1400m BM88 Bowermans Commercial Furniture Handicap

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Rachel King, 55kg

Obviously not quite named after 1998 Australian Open winner Petr Korda, but close enough

On to my Each Way Pick of the Day, and I nearly damaged my last remaining brain cell trying to come up with a value selection that had a realistic chance of winning, but at the end of the day, I’ll chance the arm on the unlucky No.13 in Race 8 at Randwick, Kordia, who definitely doesn’t come from Czechoslovakia, and definitely isn’t a sugary coloured drink!

Sure there’s better horses in the race, like Oscar Zulu and Surf Dancer, who won’t be bloody well surfing in this weather, but I couldn’t give a crap about them, because Kordia makes his return to the races after a very flat showing at Eagle Farm at the end of May, where he barely troubled the bookies in finishing 11th out of 14 runners after racing 3 wide most of the way, forcing James Cummings to send him off for a freshen up.

It was the kind of performance that one of those no neck footy commentators would describe as a “Very uncharacteristic performance”, because prior to that he had a decent record of 3 wins and 2 seconds from 7 starts, which is obviously now 8 starts, but there are plausible signs that he could go alright first up, as ge won a trial at Canterbury a fortnight ago, and he’s performed very well on rain affected tracks, with a win on a Soft and a second placing on the Heavy.

Sure he does have the wide draw, but I reckon Kordia will get back in transit anyway and look to hit the line with a flourish, under the urgings of Rachel King, the Englishwoman from England, who could probably take a penalty better than some of her compatriots!


Anyway, to everyone over in the east, let’s all do the right thing and bunker down to avoid being riddled by the New South Wales virus for the next few days, so look after yourselves, and remember, DON’T THROW YOUR PHONE IN THE BLOODY RIVER!

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