Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

This would’ve been a great coincidence – Tomorrow is the Mackay Cup, and on the same day, the twins Ben and Harry McKay were going to play on each other for the first time in tomorrow’s Carlton vs North Melbourne game, but bloody Harry just had to ruin it by withdrawing due to a toe injury.

Moving on, and it’s a sad day for Australian comedy, as Paul Hogan’s great sidekick John ‘Strop’ Cornell is no longer with us, and looking at the racing news today, the Eagle Farm track isn’t too far away from joining Strop in the afterlife.

Fancy that, the human race can reach the point where insane billionaires are joining the Mercury Seven and firing themselves into space, but we still can’t find a way to maintain a few acres of grass on the edge of the tropics.

Here’s a suggestion – How about we ‘implore’ Richard Branson to fire up the Virgin Galactic again, mysteriously invite the top brass from the Brisbane Racing Club to take part in it, then as soon as they reach the defined boundary of space, Branson can eject the lot of them, plus himself if he feels like it.

That would be good use of money for something that’s perceived as a major waste of money.

So as the Mildura Cup and something over in Japan fill our screens, tomorrow marks the penultimate Saturday of the 2020/21 season, and there’s a few more boring black type races before the nags of the Southern Hemisphere have their birthdays next Sunday.

The Group 3 WFA Bletchingly at Caulfield, featuring Emu Export patron Red Can Man, the Winter Challenge at Rosehill, although it appears the New South Wales government are organising a Winter Challenge for the entire country right now, and the H.G Bolton Sprint at Belmont, which appears to be scheduled around the same time that West Coast will go missing in the final quarter against St Kilda across the other side of the Graham Farmer Freeway.

So that’s enough of my crap, here’s Crazy Colin for the penultimate time before Crazy Craig comes back from his enforced spell, and I think Colin will be going for a far longer spell with the way he’s performed on his weekly segment over this month….

On that note, here’s Matthew Wilder!

CAN YOU BLOODY WELL STOP SCRATCHING CRAZY COLIN’S RUNNERS YOU MONGRELS… HE HAD THIS JOKE PERFECTLY LINED UP!

Each-Way Pick of the Day: Lashoni (No.9, Barrier 4) in Race 6 at Doomben (BR6), 2:18pm AEST

1200m BM72 XXXX Handicap

Trainer: Tony Gollan, Jockey: Georgina Cartwright, 58kg

Hello once again everyone, this is Crazy Colin, Crazy By Association to Crazy Craig here in Bairnsdale, and what an exciting time in our nation’s history, as we Victorians get to enjoy the first race-free week of racing since the Jurassic Age, and we only have to wait 11 years to get the Olympic Games back to Australia, which should be right around the time most of us exit this current lockdown, and you know what….

If an organisation as questionable as the International Olympic Committee want to go to Brisbane by choice, then clearly it’s good enough for yours truly to go punting there, so guess what, my Each-Way Pick of the Day will be at Doomben!

Stuff Caulfield and stuff Rosehill, it’s Doomben or bust for yours truly, and with my EWPOTD as I like to call it, I’ve gone for the horse that sounds like a James Squire beer, ‘One Fifty’ Lashoni at the odds in Race 6, based on the fact that she came from off the speed hit the line very well 1st Up at Eagle Farm at a midweek meeting earlier this month, only just missing the winner Daring Belle!

I would also note that she’s never won 1st Up, but she has recorded a win and 3 placings 2nd Up, plus 3 of her 5 wins have come at Doomben, including a 2nd Up win at the track + distance last summer, which fills me with an undeserved confidence that the mare will hit the line well tomorrow!

She probably won’t win but then again, most of my picks never do, so go One Fifty Lashoni, and by now I should note the main reason I picked her, and I’d like to thank my mate Mr Alfonse for this….

It’s Race 6, Number 9!

Pick of the Day: Nerodio (No.3, Barrier 3) in Race 8 at Belmont (PR8), 4:20pm AWST

1200m Listed H.G. Bolton Sprint

Trainer: Stephanie Bakranich, Jockey: Laqdar Ramoly (a), 58.5kg

Nerodio, wasn’t he a Roman Emperor?

Looking at the feature race of the day at Belmont, which is in Burswood, it’s the H.G Bolton Sprint, and this H.G. Bolton character must’ve been the second-most well-known H.G. in Australian sport, because he’s definitely lagging behind H.G. Nelson!

Nerodio starts as the market elect off the back of his cracking win in the Beaufine Stakes a fortnight ago, when he stormed over the top to knock off Gemma’s Son, and the important part of that race is that he ran faster closing sectionals (600, 400, 200) than all of his rivals who will back up in the H.G. Bolton, including his main rival Amasenus, who did have the valid excuse of heavy interference, and another bonus is that Nerodio only concedes another half kilo to the former winning machine!

Living up to the phrase horses for courses, all 9 of Nerodio’s wins (From 21 career starts) have come at Belmont, having a lifetime record of 9 wins and 2 seconds from 12 starts at the track, and he’s currently the leader for all horses at Belmont this season with 5 wins from 6 attempts, and the only horse who can realistically take the unofficial Belmont crown away from him is another horse in the H.G. Bolton in the form of Montelena, who is a perfect 4/4 at Belmont this season, and The Spruiker, who won last week to also move to 4/4!

There’s horses for courses knackers, and then there’s horses for courses!

The historians of the universe say Emperor Nero fiddled while Rome burned during the Great Fire of 64 AD, but let your old mate Colin tell you this, Laqdar Ramoly, the Mauritian from Mauritius, won’t be fiddling from the low draw while Nerodio needs to do something, because he can plant the favourite anywhere he wants from Barrier 3 and give him every possible hope of winning, which is all you can ask for!

Experience will tell you there’s no such thing as a good thing, so on that note, go Nerodio, my PICK OF THE DAY.

Enjoy your Saturday friends, especially if you’re in lockdown, this has been Crazy Colin, and to our compatriots competing in Tokyo, I say STICK IT UP EM!