Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

I can’t help but think that our own Cedric Dubler would make a good jockey, solely based on the way he got Ash Moloney home in the 1500m leg of the Decathlon last night…. Seriously, Ced did everything but hop on Ash’s back and whip the bastard home to a historic Decathlon bronze medal for Australia.

Bloody inspiring stuff.

Well, on a more important note, it’s been a solid week for birthdays in this neck of the woods – The horses of the Southern Hemisphere had their birthdays last Sunday, it’s my nan’s 89th birthday, ‘colourful’ Waterford TAB character The Gabster turned 95 yesterday, and yet he’s still fit enough to drive drunk on a railway line (True story), and the REAL Crazy Craig has his birthday on Sunday!

Fancy that – Craig’s birthday is the 8th of the 8th.

It’s a wonder he and The Gabster, who always backs the No.8s, have never met, but rest assured, it’d be like Albert Einstein meeting Stephen Hawking.

So the new season is here and so is the Group racing, including the Group 2 Missile Stakes at Randwick, the Group 3 Aurie’s Star at Flemington, and the Ngawyni Stakes at Belmont, but who gives a crap about that, because it’ll be Sunday in the Eastern States by the time the race actually starts.

Pick of the Day: Remarque (No.3, Barrier 1) in Race 8 at Randwick, 3:35pm AEST

1100m Listed 3YO Quality The Rosebud

Trainers: John Hawkes & Sons, Jockey: Tommy Berry, 56kg

Hello once again friends, it’s Crazy Craig, The Boy From Bairnsdale, and wouldn’t you farkin’ well believe it, us Victorians have been bloody well locked down AGAIN!

STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE ANDREWS YOU FOUR-EYED FLOG!

At this point I’m just willing to accept a lethal disease into my life just to avoid a lockdown – At least Crazy Colin will stop stealing my beer!

So now that I’ve typed that out, it’s the start of the new racing season, which means the Spring Carnival isn’t too far away, and before we get there, I’ve got to give youse my Pick of the Day from Randwick, which comes in the form of the new 3-year-old Remarque!

Apparently a Remarque is what a politician says in Parliament when they’re making a remark in French.

To use it in a sentence: “A Liberal MP made a sexist Remarque to his staffer, which she reported to the police, but was ignored.”

We haven’t seen Remarque since he ran 5th in the Todman back in March in what was his 2nd start overall, where he got caught wide and wound up finishing 2L off Anamoe, who wound up finishing 2nd in the Golden Slipper before going to dominate in the Group 1 Sires Produce, which goes to show the form was there if he’d been able to go on with it, but an elevated temperature before the Silver Slipper brought an end to his 2-year-old season!

Alas, John Hawkes has got him on the hunt for a Golden Rose in just under 2 months’ time, and Remarque has had two warm-up trials before making his return to racing, and the positive sign is that he’s won them both, so we’ll see if he’s actually any good and made some very good progression from his juvenile year, or if he’s developed a heart as BIG AS A PEA.

For all of our sakes, I hope he has, so go Remarque – My PICK OF THE DAY.

Each-Way Pick of the Day: Coolth (No.12, Barrier 12) in Race 9 at Flemington, 5:05pm AEST

1600m BM84 Handicap VRC Member Michael Kiely Trophy

Trainers: Tony & Calvin McEvoy, Jockey: Will Price (a1.5kg), 54.5kg

I’ll say this off the top knackers, I’m gonna keep going with Each-Way Picks of the Day, until I get another Each-Way Pick of the Day into the placings, don’t you worry about that, so I’m going back to Flemington to the last race on the card, and I’m CRAAAZY enough to pick Coolth!

In case you’re wondering where the name came from, Coolth is how Mike Tyson pronounces Cool.

“Hey Mike, you’re fighting Buster Douglas!”

“Coolth!”

So on that note, I think Coolth can run a good race in the last, as he goes 1st Up at the 1600m in his first appearance since February, and most importantly of all, she does tick a few boxes:

• Has won 1st Up

• Has won at Flemington

• Has won at the mile – Twice in fact from 3 starts

And most importantly of all…

I’M NOT ALL THERE, DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT!

I should state for the record that there are some decent horses – Grinzinger ‘Muhammad’ Allee, D’Aguilar, Scottish Dancer – But the fact the market is $4.80 the field suggests to me that it’s pretty wide open, which means we could see a horse at odds get up, which is why I want to have a go on Tony McEvoy’s gelding!

So there we have it, Coolth – My EACH-WAY PICK OF THE DAY.

Enjoy your weekend friends, unless like me you’re in the 60% of the country that are currently locked down, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me CRAAAAAZY CRAIG!