Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Hello once again friends, strangers and people currently giving me the finger, it’s the middle of December, noted trial form analyst Tony Brassel is buggering off from Sky Racing, Festivus is just under 2 weeks away, followed by some other holiday a few days later, and wouldn’t you know it, Sydney is still inundated by rain.

The more things change, they stay the same.

Anyway, given it is close to Christmas, there’s bugger all to talk about this week, with the only feature races being the the Group 2 Villiers Stakes at Randwick, which is the only Group race of the day, there’s the Listed Kensington Stakes up the Flemington Straight, in what will be the first meeting at Headquarters since the end of the Cup Carnival last month, the Listed Christmas Handicap at Morphetville, which won’t feature any of Santa’s reindeer after they all failed drug tests, and the boring event of the day at Ascot is the Listed G.A Towton Cup, in which Pikey somehow won’t ride a winner after his dog day out last Saturday, which was capped by him being suspended until New Years, a sidelining which starts after Saturday.

So enough of the minimal chit chat, here’s the return of the one and only Lucky Lips kid Crazy Craig, with his traditional p(r)ick for the day’s racing, and also making his return is Sir Cliff Richard… before he sang the Millennium Prayer:

Pick of the Day: Lighthouse (No.2, Barrier 5) in Race 6 at Flemington (MR6), 3:40pm AEDT

1400m BM84 Des Gleeson Handicap

Trainers: Ciaron Maher & David Eustace, Jockey: Matthew Cartwright (a2), 59kg

Hello hello everyone, it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, all refreshed after a month off, and let me tell you, I’m like a dog with two dicks right now – BLOODY HAPPY!

Why are you bloody happy Crazy Craig, you ask?

Well, I’ve loaded up, bought a heap of scratchies, and in the festive spirit, given them away to people who I thought looked down on their luck, and the other bit of good news is that Crazy Colin believes me when I told him I wasn’t stealing his bloody tomatoes!

Why would I want to steal them anyway, they’re crap!

So with that out of the way, I’m looking straight ahead to Flemington, which is where I think I was the last time I had to write one of these bloody things, and I’m hanging out until tea time for my Pick of the Day, because I like the look of the Maher-Eustace import Lighthouse, the American from America, and I reckon if he had a set of lungs, he’d be belting out Born In The USA on repeat!

It’s fitting, because just like The Boss, Lighthouse also been sent off to a foreign land to go and kill people….

People’s multis, that is!

Anyway, Lighthouse is 2/2 in Australia after two thumping wins in the wet, 1st Up at Kyneton, and last start at Ballarat on Ballarat Cup day, when he beat Frankie Pinot, who went out to Pakenham last Saturday and won in a head bobber, and the good part from Lighthouse’s Ballarat is that Matthew Cartwright, no relation to Bec Cartwright, will stick aboard, which is what I like to see!

Anyway, if Lighthouse holds that form from his first two races in Australia, he’ll be standing out like a lighthouse on Saturday. and he’s my Pick of the Day…

As for the other nags… Well, I couldn’t give a rat’s tossbag, they’ve probably all got hearts as big as peas!

Value Pick of the Day: Edison (No.5, Barrier 2) in the Razor Sharp Handicap at Randwick (SR7), 4:40pm AEDT

1200m Listed Quality Handicap

Trainer: Bjorn Baker, Jockey: Jason Collett, 54.5kg

On to that muddy hellhole called Randwick for the Razor Sharp sprint and my Value Pick of the Day, and I hope Bjorn Baker has had a lightbulb moment in the past few days, because he’s got a horse named after one Thomas Alva Edison, inventor of the incandescent light bulb, electricity, and the phonograph!

Unfortunately, it appears Edison isn’t quite the genius that his namesake was, as shown last start in the Starlight at Rosehill, when he had to go back to last on a Heavy track, and he was never really a hope of winning and ultimately ran on late to finish 7th.

This time around the weather looks a smidgen better in Sydney (From ****in’ rainy to slightly rainy), Edison makes a bit of natural progression from 1100m to 1200m, and fortunately Edison has fared much better at the barrier draw, going from Barrier 9 in to Barrier 2!

Anyway, there’s some good horses in this race – Eleven Eleven won well at Kembla and he’s headed to the Magic Millions next month, the lightly weighted Snapdancer is out of the late great Choisir, who died just this week (Talk about horses with hearts as big as whales, he had one!), and Southern Lad has won a couple of races in the last few years…

But, for some unknown reason in the depths of my CRAAAAAZY mind, I reckon Edison could be priming up for a solid day out tomorrow, and I hope the lightbulb is on in his mind, because he’s my VALUE PICK OF THE DAY.

The Random Lou Gramm Pick: Midnight Blue (No.7, Barrier 4) in Race 8 at Ascot (PR8), 4:25pm AWST

2200m Listed G.A Towton Cup

Trainers: Grant & Alana Williams, Jockey: William Pike, 55kg

I remember what my father said,
He said “Son, life is simple”
It’s either Cherry Red or
Midnight Blue…. ohhhh!

Have a good Saturday everyone, stay safe, keep your eyes on the road, don’t be a stranger, or throw your phone in the river, have a good weekend, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!

Hang on a minute Craig, didn’t you send me the Random Lou Gramm Pick last month, word for word?