Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Alrighty friends, strangers and people hurling bricks at me, it’s the eve of Golden Slipper day, and of course, 2022 marks 30 years since one of the more memorable editions of the Golden Slipper Stakes back in 1992, when Clan O’Sullivan led all the way up to the 50 metre mark when he started shortening stride, and through came Burst to give Shane Dye his record fourth consecutive Slipper win as a jockey, and his second in a row with Clarry Conners:

What you don’t know is that race spawned a very well-known phrase, because a much younger Mr Alfonse was watching the race with his daughter and a mate in Victoria (Who was not Crazy Craig), and as soon as Burst caught Clan O’Sullivan shy of the post, Alfonse’s mate jumped to his feet, started pounding his chest where his heart would be, and shouted in reference to Clan O’Sullivan…

“HEART AS BIG AS A ****IN’ PEA!”

An insult of the highest order.

So obviously the Slipper is the highlight of the day, with the 4 other Group 1s (The Ranvet, The Rosehill Guineas, The George Ryder and The Galaxy) helping form one of the biggest days on the entire racing calendar, and while all that’s going on it just happens to be the day of the All-Star Mile at Flemington, returning to the very location of the inaugural running in 2019, and this one might actually be the best edition yet, with Zaaki, Inspirational Girl, Tofane, I’m Thunderstruck, Streets of Avalon, Lunar Fox, Sierra Sue and Cascadian all being Group 1 winners… Which is at least half of the 15 horse field.

So enough of my crap, here’s the thoughts of Crazy Craig with the Picks of the Day, and he better pull his finger out sometime soon, because the last few weeks have been filled with near misses, and as always, here’s Cliff Richard singing about a feature of his face, because like Crazy Craig, he’s got LUCKY LIPS!

Value Pick of the Day: I’m Thunderstruck (No.1, Barrier 1) in the All-Star Mile at Flemington (MR7), 3:40pm AEDT

1600m WFA

Trainers: Mick Price & Mick Kent Jnr, Jockey: Jye McNeil, 59kg

Hello hello everyone, it’s Craaaaaaazy Craig TBFB, and I am ready to rumble once again, because it’s GOLDEN SLIPPER DAY, one of the great days on the calendar, and to try and give myself a bit more luck, I went and bought a few more scratchies at the newsagent and started giving them out to people on the streets!

It worked the last time I did it because I actually picked a winner, so we’ll find out if I’m in line to get some good karma from the universe, or if it’s all a crock of shit!

So before I get on to Sid-knee, the feature event of the weekend at Flemington is the relatively young All-Star Mile, featuring more Group 1 winners than I’ve had hot dinners, and after 2 minutes of thought and with plenty of value to choose from, I’ve settled on the AC/DC horse…

I’M THUNDERSTRUCK, DA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NANA!

Yesss, you may look at his form this prep and see 5th and 5th in 2 runs, which looks like a pile of arse compared to Zaaki, Inspirational Girl and Tofane, but I reckon the Price-Kent team have been absolutely setting him for this race:

• THIRD UP – His only ever run Third Up was the Golden Eagle, which he WON.
• 1600m – His only ever run at 1600m was last year’s Group 1 Toorak Handicap, which he WON.
• Weight For Age so
• It’s his first run at Flemington since his lone appearance back in July of last year, WHICH HE WON.
• He’s a natural front runner who’s drawn Barrier 1, with the speed horses all drawn out wide!
• He’s due for a bit of luck after two pretty luckless runs this prep

And of course…

• I’m not all there, don’t you worry about that!

Now, given it is a Value Pick, I don’t expect him to win by 6 lengths, although it would be nice, but if a perfect world exists and Jye McNeil gets the gelding to jump well and sit on speed, then I reckon he’ll have every chance in the world of running a good honest race and being right in the finish, which is the least you can hope for!

So there you go, I’m Thunderstruck is my VALUE PICK OF THE DAY.

Value Pick No.2: Away Game (No.6, Barrier 6) in The Galaxy at Rosehill (SR9), 5:20pm AEDT

1100m Group 1 Handicap

Trainers: Ciaron Maher & David Eustace, Jockey: Linda Meech, 55kg

On to the second value pick for the day, and it’s on to Rosehill for the big Slipper meeting in swampy Parramatta, the place where the Eels lie down, so they say, and I wasn’t sure if I should go for two selections at the healthy odds, but I figured BUGGER IT, let’s be different, because we can’t pick 3 favourites every week!

So I’ve decided to have a go at the race after the Golden Slipper, the big Group 1 sprint The Galaxy, and I’ve gone for a mare who’s been chasing Marabi for an entire summer, and that’s perennial pea heart Away Game!

Actually, given it’s a road trip for Away Game, it’s a no-brainer that the jockey will be wearing the white shorts.

So Away Game has only won 2 out of her last 17 starts, and hasn’t won a race since June 2021, when she won the Group 3 WJ Healy at Eagle Farm, and this summer she’s had her runs spaced out over a month, which have produced nothing if not consistent results:

• 2nd on Boxing Day in the Xmas Stakes at Caulfield, only 0.75L behind Marabi.

• 3rd in the Magic Millions Sprint at the Gold Coast in January behind Isotope, who is the favourite in this race.

• And 2nd in the Oakleigh Plate behind the unbeaten Marabi, only going down by a half length!

Obviously Linda Meech is going to have to get out of her comfort zone in this one, because she’ll have to ride the mare off the speed and chase the hot speed in the straight, whereas Linda is at her absolute finest when he she gets on a front runner, but if she does get her to settle comfortably in midfield, then outside of having a heart as big as a pea, I reckon she’ll be running a big honest race in the straight and featuring in the finish, which, as I’ve said previously, is all you can hope for!

So there we go, Away Game is my second VALUE PICK OF THE DAY.

Random Australiana Pick of the Day: Mazu (No.4, Barrier 1) in the Darby Munro Stakes at Rosehill (SR2), 12:45pm AEDT

1200m Listed 3YO Set Weights + Penalties

Trainers: Peter & Paul Snowden, Jockey: Sam Clipperton, 58.5kg

Pretty soon Ayers rocks in and things really started jumping,
This Indian girl Mazu turns up, dying to go to the toilet, but she couldn’t find it.
I said to me mate Al, “Hey, where can Mazu pee, Al?”
He said “She can go out back with the fellas, she’s probably seen a cock or two!”

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!