So it’s the middle of April, and randomly enough, something interesting popped up on my timeline yesterday, mentioning that April 11 was the anniversary of Susan Boyle’s ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ audition on Britain’s Got Talent.

So I went back and watched this moment in musical history, just to get a glimpse of how basically everyone in the building (Simon Cowell included) saw this totally uninteresting looking, middle-aged, unemployed Scotswoman walk on stage and thought to themselves ‘Yeah, she’s got no appeal whatsoever’, and within seconds, Boyle just drops a musical atomic bomb on them.

Fun fact, there was a production of Les Misérables in Vancouver at the time.

After Boyle’s audition, ticket sales shot up by 250%, and the original London cast recording of the song from 1985 (With Patti LuPone on vocals) went to No.1 on the iTunes Vocal charts.

She truly was the Scot Heard Round The World.

Gillon McLachlan, we hardly knew ye

He helped fast track the AFLW, signed off on the deal to purchase Docklands Stadium, kept the ball rolling through the pandemic, and he led the creation of AFLX, the pinnacle of Australian slapstick comedy:

A new career awaits with Racing Australia, trying to put a dog collar on the beasts running Racing NSW.

In light of the election announcement, I will be aiming to bring you the 2022 Political Premiership on May 19

Who could forget the 2019 Premiership, when Clive Palmer kicked a goal in the pocket with 5 minutes to go to give the Coalition victory over Labor, even though Clive wasn’t even playing for the Coalition.

Wait a minute, it’s Easter this weekend?

Oh well, looks like I’ll have to steal someone’s eggs and claim them.

North Melbourne being good humans and visiting the Royal Children’s Hospital before the Good Friday Game

Which begs this classic joke:

“It was sad to see the look of hopelessness on their little faces,” said Ryan, aged 6.

A record 419,114 strong crowd at Albert Park over the Australian Grand Prix weekend, and 128,294 on Sunday for the race

If estimated numbers are to be believed, it’s now the greatest weekend attendance for an Australian Grand Prix in the Albert Park era, surpassing the first Grand Prix in 1996, the biggest for an Australian GP since the 1995 farewell to Adelaide (520,000), and the race day crowd on Sunday would be right around the 3rd-greatest single day attendance for any Australian sporting event, behind the 210,000 people that lined the streets of Adelaide on the Sunday in 1995, and the 129,089 people that attended the 2006 Victoria Derby meeting at Flemington…

In fact, the Saturday crowd at Albert Park was 123,247, which would put it at least 4th overall for a single day crowd in recorded Australian history.

You can list a huge number of factors as to the sheer success of this weekend:

– The lack of racing at Albert Park since 2019 and the anticipation for the comeback

– Melburnians just wanting to enjoy something after 2 years of shitful misery

– The presence of Duncraig Daniel Ricciardo and the fact we have a huge motorsport culture in this country, helping create a sensation unseen since The Beatles toured with Jimmie Nichol in 1964

I also think we can’t undersell the impact that Drive To Survive and the Netflix deal has had on attracting casual fans into Formula 1, not just in Australia, but worldwide, which you could notice last year during the US Grand Prix in Austin, which had a total weekend attendance of 400,000, a landmark figure considering they hadn’t cracked the 300,000 mark once in 10 years in Texas.

It’s also noting the Australian Grand Prix Corp also achieved that number despite the fact that Formula 1 has been practically struck off free to air television in Australia since 2020, outside of an hour long highlights package late at night on Channel 10.

So yep, F1 is absolutely booming.

Random note picked up from /r/formula1

When Alex Albon made his one and only pit stop of the race on Lap 58, after running 57 laps on the same tyre set, there were already fans in the pit lane (Probably VIPs) getting ready for the post-race ceremony, standing only a couple of metres from a live car – Thankfully there was an official there making sure none of them got splattered at 80 km/h.

It should be noted that a few seconds after that still, Charles LeClerc crossed the line and won the race.

Still, based on the lack of evidence, it should be a slam dunk 3-place grid penalty for an unsafe release coming the way of the AGP Corporation, because they could very easily have recreated scenes reminiscent of Italy in 2000, when Michael Schumacher somehow didn’t add to the death toll that tragic Sunday:

13 years apart, near identical accidents at Turn 4

Up the top, Kazuki Nakajima in the 2009 Australian Grand Prix, and down the bottom Sebastian Vettel on Sunday, in both cases the drivers lost the rear on the kerb exiting the corner:

Seb wouldn’t have done that if he was driving that scooter he stole on Friday.

The Des Hasler Stat of the Century

I mentioned this during the Random Picks Review yesterday, but I’ll expand on it now – If you include interim head coaches, Manly coach Des Hasler has faced 55 coaches during his tenures at the Sea Eagles and Canterbury, and with Hasler’s Sea Eagles defeating Adam O’Brien’s Knights for the first time in 4 attempts, that now means Hasler has defeated all 55 opposing head coaches at least once.

That made me have a look some of Des’ contemporaries, starting with Wayne ‘Skeletor’ Bennett, who has faced what feels like at least 100 head coaches, and it turns out Wayne has defeated all bar 2 coaches in First Grade; Bill Anderson’s Balmain in 1987, who defeated the Bennett-coached Canberra Raiders twice, and Steve Price at St George-Illawarra in 2012-13 defeated Bennett’s Newcastle Knights all four times they met, with the irony being that Price succeeded Bennett at the Dragons.

Craig Bellamy is winless against 5 coaches he’s faced; Danny Buderus interim-coached the Knights to a 20-6 win in Round 24 of 2015 (The last time the Knights defeated the Storm), Cameron Ciraldo coached the Panthers to a 22-16 win at AAMI Park in Round 25 of 2018, which cost the Storm a hat-trick of minor premierships, Andrew Farrar’s Dragons defeated Bellamy 28-20 when he filled in for Wayne Bennett at Brisbane in Round 11 of 2002, Arthur Kitnas coached the Rabbitohs to a win against the Storm in 2004, and Dean Young’s Dragons got a win against the Storm in Round 20 of 2020, when Bellamy rested 75% of the Storm team before a successful premiership tilt.

Reigning premiership coach Ivan Cleary has defeated all bar 2 coaches, ironically both of whom were interims at Cronulla in 2014; Peter Sharp defeated Cleary’s Panthers 24-20 in Round 8, and after Jamie Shepherd took over, the Sharks defeated the Panthers 18-16 in Round 20.

And Trent Robinson has defeated all bar 2 coaches; Jason Demetriou back in Round 3 when the Chooks lost to the Rabbitohs, and the aforementioned Jamie Shepherd back in Round 17 of 2014, when the Roosters were 24-0 up and lost 28-30 against Cronulla..

As it stands, the next new coach Hasler will face is Craig Fitzgibbon when Manly play Cronulla at Shark Park on April 21 to begin Round 7.

Regional Victoria will host the 2026 Commonwealth Games, even though nobody in the regions actually asked for it

Just for a laugh, I hope the organisers schedule all the athletics events like the AFL fixture Geelong’s season.

Have all the heats at Kardinia Park, then have the finals at the MCG.

The bloke who carried a flare onto Shark Park during the Sharks vs Tigers game on Sunday was jailed for 3 months

Not for prolonging a Wests Tigers game and making us all suffer for it, but he was sentenced to three months in prison for possessing a bright light distress signal in a public place, and he was fined $440 for entering enclosed land without lawful excuse.

Turns out there was more to it, according to the Newcastle Herald:

It was the latest action from the protest group Fireproof Australia.

The group is demanding the immediate rehousing of flood and bushfire survivors, the implementation of recommendations from the royal commission into the Black Summer bushfires, and for schools, aged care and disability facilities to be made “smoke-proof”.

The pitch invasion was a change in tactics for the group, which has previously blocked traffic on roads and bridges to draw attention to their cause.

NSW recently passed new laws that could see those protests result in fines up to $22,000 and up to two years in prison.

If you really want effective action, why don’t they just do a Guy Fawkes on Parliament?

Actually, that’s probably what the Australian public are going to do to the Coalition at the polls.

This is where Marc Marquez was at Turn 1 of the MotoGP Grand Prix of the Americas, in his first race back from diplopia

Started 9th, but his bike seemingly engaged the pit limiter and he fell back to last:

Here’s a pictorial list of all the riders Marc would subsequently scythe through over the next 20 laps:

The King of COTA couldn’t retain his throne, even though he had the pace to win the race, but he sure all didn’t die wondering.

I’ve found a place that’s more toxic, radioactive and genuinely harmful to the wellbeing of human beings than the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant

Now performing at the Manning Bowling Club: Brothers From Other South African Mothers

Starring Fat Jack, the most beloved South African since Hansie Cronje, and my one-time skip Brett Adams, and I believe the two of them will also be performing a remake of this Hollywood classic:

Hawthorn’s dabbing boombox interchange sign vs St Kilda that had everyone talking

I think that sign meant to say “Boys, we’re ****in’ kicking that way”, which you can tell because the boombox is dabbing in the direction of the Punt Road end, which the Hawks were kicking to in the final term, but obviously 95% of the team is Gen Z, so they needed the sign in the form of an emoji to properly understand it.

Which explains why the margin blew out from 62 to finish at 69 points.

Random coincidence I’ve noticed over the last two weekends of punting

I backed both of Crazy Craig’s Value Picks over the last weeks – Benaud in the ATC Derby, and Sheraz in the Sydney Cup…

Turns out I got them AT THE EXACT SAME PRICE.

And finally, I may note that Tuesday marked my 1300th post

Unfortunately it won’t quite attract a 1300th celebration like Plugger did when he kicked his 1300th goal.