Meanwhile, at Kilmore:

“If you’re a jockey and you’re going to slaughter one, this’d be a darn good day wouldn’t it? Nobody could see it!” – Ric McIntosh

So while ghost horses run around in the Victorian bush and we lose yet another promising stayer to injury, we move on to the last Saturday in May, and it well and truly is Mayhem to end the month, because all the Doomben wipeouts from the SEQ rains mean a good chunk of last week’s Doomben Cup meeting is now part of the beefed up Eagle Farm card, forming some super duper 10 race card for QLD Derby Day, with a grand total of:

2 Listed Races, 4 Group 3s, 2 Group 2s, and 3 Group 1s, with the re-run Doomben Cup, the aforementioned Queensland Derby, and the Kingsford-Smith Cup.

Whaddaya know, Brisbane finally got its own version of Derby Day, with 10% of the crowd.

So looking elsewhere, with Winter just around the corner, outside of Queensland it really is starting to reach the boring point, with the only other Group race that isn’t located in Brisvegas being the Group 3 Belmont Sprint in Perth, and what people don’t know is Belmont is actually in Burswood, right next door to Optus Stadium, where the Western Bulldogs will accept a charitable offer of 4 points from the West Coast Eagles after the races have finished.

Now it’s time for Crazy Craig, and for goodness sake I hope he’s inherited the good karma from his scratchie donations, because quite frankly he performed even worse than the LNP last Saturday, so to kick off with a song for this week, I’ve been reliably informed that May 28 is the birthday of a pop princess who Should Be So Lucky, as lucky as Crazy Craig with his Lucky Lips….

KYLIE MINOGUE.

Value Pick: Oscar Zulu (No.13, Barrier 1) E/W in Race 7 at Eagle Farm (BR7), 2:38pm AEST

1300m Group 3 Quality Tab BRC Sprint

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: Kerrin McEvoy, 54kg

Hello hello everyone, it’s Craaazy Craig, The Scratchie Boy From Bairnsdale, and let me tell you knackers, I am bloody relieved at the election result, not because of who formed government because I don’t give a rat’s arse about Labor, but because THAT WINDBAG CRAIG KELLY LOST HIS SEAT.

LET THAT BE A REMINDER – THERE’S ONLY ENOUGH ROOM FOR ONE CRAZY CRAIG IN THIS BLOODY COUNTRY, AND IT AIN’T YOU!

Now, last week I was going to select a Chris Waller runner named Oscar Zulu as my Value Pick of the Day, but the Brisbane weather turned so foul that Doomben never went ahead, but luckily for us he’s going around again, so I decided I’m going to write ALMOST exactly what I wrote last week, and say it again!

Why?

Because I’m BLOODY CRAZY!

Roll tape!

Oscar Zulu goes up to Queensland after a bloody battle at Gosford, resulting in the deaths of 400 red coats and Sir Stanley Baker, and all I’ll say about that run in the Takeover Target is that Oscar Zulu’s luck was somewhere between BUCKLEY’S AND NONE!

He was building into the race on the turn, and the next thing you know, all he could see in the straight was equine ARSE!

So he finished in 8th, 4 lengths off Blondeau, when reality showed he should’ve been at least 3 lengths closer, and for whatever reason, I think he’s got another run like that in him 2nd Up, and all the signs are there:

– He’s got 2 wins on Soft tracks

– He’s won 2nd Up before

– Barrier 1 is no negative

– Queensland horses are camels with their hooves painted brown

– And I’m not all there, don’t you worry about that!

So from the good gate, hopefully Kerrin McEvoy can get him to settle midfield and have room to run in the straight, and lord willing, he’ll be finishing near enough to the Top 3, or else I’m going to have Crazy Colin throwing things at my windows!

There you go, OSCAR ZULU, my VALUE PICK OF THE DAY.

‘Sounds Like Another Donovan Song’ Pick: Pinarello (No.5, Barrier 20) E/W in the Queensland Derby at Eagle Farm (BR8), 3:18pm AEST

2400m Group 1 3YO Set Weights

Trainers: Roger James & Robert Wellwood, Jockey: Leith Innes, 57kg

I’m just mad about saffron
A-saffron’s mad about me
I’m-a just mad about saffron
She’s just mad about me,

They call me Pinarello (Quite rightly)!
They call me Pinarello (Quite rightly)!
They call me Pinarello!

Fancy that knackers – A few weeks ago I had Atlantis, now I’ve got MELLOW YELLOW!

Pick of the Day: Sneaky Chance (No.10, Barrier 4) in Race 10 at Belmont (PR10), 4:50pm AWST

1000m 66+ Rating Crown Perth Handicap

Trainer: Trevor Andrews, Jockey: Shaun O’Donnell, 54.5kg

Knackers, by this point in the day I’ve given up the ghost and will probably be foraging Crazy Colin’s tomatoes without him knowing, because how could you name your horse ‘Sneaky Chance’ when she’s a $2.60 favourite every time she goes around.

If anything, I think we should call this week’s Pick of the Day, the ‘Binary Pick’….

Because it’s Race 10, Number 10, in a 1000m race!

10101000!

That’s bloody BINARY!

So there you go Sneaky Chance, you’re the BINARY Pick of the Day.

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!