Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

So with the Flemington Carnival done to end the height of Spring, we have to focus on the other parts of Victorian racing, and unfortunately due to the extreme wet this Spring we did lose the Dunkeld Cup last week, so all we’re left with is the Cranbourne Cup and some dodgy race in Terang, and on the northern side of the Murray River, the feature event of the day in NSW is The Hunter in Newcastle, plus the time honoured Hair Of The Dog Cup at Gundagai (Race 5 at 4:16), named as always after Nazareth’s successful 1975 album, and it’ll be a topical Hair Of The Dog this year, with Nazareth’s lead vocalist Dan McCafferty passing away just this Tuesday at the age of 76.

Ooooooooh, Love Hurts.

And finally, over here in the hermit kingdom of Wait Awhile, it’s the last Saturday before the Railway Stakes, with the Group 3 RJ Peters Stakes being a traditional guide to the race, then there’s the WA Champion Fillies, which will feature a few horses going into next week’s Guineas, and the Placid Ark Stakes + the Colonel Reeves , featuring several chances for the Winterbottom Stakes in a fortnight.

So with that out of the way, it’s on to the picks, and Crazy Craig was adamant that he needs a break after going non-stop for the last 2 months, and with the way he performed from Caulfield Cup Day through to Derby Day he was in dire need of a rest, so stepping up to the plate to take on the constant curveball pitching of Australian racing is none other than Crazy Colin, and out of left field for his musical theme…

SUNDOWN by Gordon Lightfoot!

Hello hello everyone it’s Crazy Colin, and I’ll start off by pointing out that unlike that useless LUNATIC Crazy Craig, I actually picked a WINNER on Melbourne Cup Day!

White Marlin, it’ll be in next year’s Cup field and smacking the crap out of the Australian bred horses, I’ve read the bloody tea leaves!

Anyway, I’ve done my weekly charity work with Crazy Craig and used our winnings to buy scratchies for the down on their luck folk of Bairnsdale, so here’s my picks for Saturday, in no particular order:

The Paul McCartney/Stevie Wonder Value Pick: Pink Ivory (No.12, Barrier 11) E/W in Race 6 at Newcastle (SR6), 3:20pm AEDT

1850m Alf Kneebone Trans-Tasman Trophy BM88 Handicap

Trainer: John Sargent, Jockey: Jason Collett, 53.5kg

Ebony and Pink Ivory
Live together in punting harmony!
Side by side on my laptop keyboard
Oh Lord, why don’t we?

We all know, that people are the same wherever you go
There is good and bad in everyone
We learn to live when we learn to give each other
What we need to survive
Together alive!

Cranbourne Cup Pick: Visinari (No.9, Barrier 7) in Race 7 at Cranbourne (MR7), 4:20pm AEDT

1600m Listed Ladbrokes Cranbourne Cup

Trainers: Mick Price & Mick Kent Jnr, Jockey: Daniel Moor, 54.5kg

So the only race that anyone really cares about on Saturday is the Cranbourne Cup, and after looking at the form guide for a few seconds, I’ve settled on the horse with every Richmond fan’s favourite number (9), VISINARI.

He won the Paris Lane at on a good deck at Flemington first up to begin the month of October, then he went 3 weeks between runs and went around in the WFA Crystal Mile at Moonee Valley on Cox Plate Day, and he’s about as good as swimmer as Eric The Eel was back in 2000, as he just struggled to get his toe in the ground with the 59kg on his back, but even still, he ran 4th and was only beaten 4 lengths!

So off the back of the 2nd Up run, he comes back to the mile at Cranbourne off another 3 week break with a few pluses that look bigger than the plus on the Swiss flag:

– Goes from WFA back to handicap conditions and subsequently drops from 59kg down to 54.5kg

– Despite the threat of rain it’s looking like being a Good 4 at Cranbourne by late on Saturday afternoon

– As mentioned in the previous paragraph he’s 3rd Up and fresh as a daisy

– And he’s got the services of Daniel MOOR MOOR, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, HOW DO YOU LIKE IT!

Of course, there are some good’uns in the field, like Sale Cup winner Uncle Bryn, topweight Callsign Mav was a Group 1 winner 3 starts back in the Rupert Clarke at Caulfield, but I say they can GET STUFFED, because I’m happy to be in the corner of VISINARI, the PICK OF THE DAY.

The Pike in the Last: Devoted (No.10, Barrier 11) in the R.J Peters Stakes at Ascot, 5:39pm AWST (8:39)

1500m Group 3 Handicap

Trainer: Michael Grantham, Jockey: W.Pike, 54kg

Here we go knackers, for the first time since January, LIKE MILLIONS OF DICKHEADS AROUND AUSTRALIA, I’M GOING FOR THE BLAST OUT AT ASCOT WITH WILLIAM PIKE ON A PETERS HORSE:

And I think it’s rather appropriate that we’ll be blasting out with a horse in Bob Peters’ colours in the RJ Peters Stakes!

So that’s all from me, thanks for being amused, and as always friends, stay safe, look after each other…. and don’t steal your neighbour’s tomatoes, but do feel free to drink his beer!