The 2022 United Nations of JT’s Sporting Reviews report

My fellow constituents, over the past 2-3 years I’ve made an effort to publish an interesting list of all the countries that have viewed my posts over the course of the year (2020 and 2021), which was my attempt at an informative post about the multi-cultural viewership I’ve attracted to the Sporting Reviews in the name of sporting diplomacy, despite maintaining a Green and Gold tinted view of the world, and one can see on the map above that I’ve covered more of the Earth than the British Empire in 1919, with several million fewer casualties.

In 2022, my viewership increased by a solid 18% to 37,696 (An average of 103.27 per day), thanks in part to that post about the 30th anniversary of Geelong’s AFL record score ending up in the Top 2 results on Google and getting 7,668 clicks, and I thank you all for using my poorly constructed posts as a way to further increase your boredom.

For all I know, those 37,000+ views are just the same 5 people changing their IP addresses over and over for a laugh, and I would know because I’m usually one of them, so without further ado, here’s a look at the 2022 United Nations of JT’s Sporting Reviews:

Some indecent opinions on that vast array of countries:

The United States = The 30th anniversary of Jim Courier jumping in the Yarra River after winning the Australian Open must’ve been a big hit stateside, as were my occasional mentions of John Glenn on Friendship 7, and the Apollo mission anniversary.

United Kingdom = A big year for the Poms, flicking off 2 Prime Ministers, extending their winless run in Australia to 15 Test matches, tanking their own economy, getting rid of Joe Root as Test captain, winning the T20 World Cup, the Queen had one meeting with Liz Truss and decided 96 years on the Earth was enough, and they went from 596 views on JT’s in 2021, to 1,406 in 2022.

Unfortunately, it’s still not coming home.

New Zealand = 396 in 2021, to 727 in 2022, absolutely loving everything I mention about Chris Waller, James McDonald, the All-Blacks’ constant shitting on the Wallabies, and the Underarm ball.

Bangladesh = Big fans of Jason Gillespie.

Barbados = Apparently they’re big fans of the band Models in Barbados.

Brunei = The Sultan likes me.

Argentina = 16 views, and speaking of 16, Argentina defeated Australia in the Round of 16 at the World Cup… names and numbers, people!

Canada = As Kevin Bloody Wilson taught us, you can’t say ‘Can’t’ in Canada, because saying Can’t isn’t very nice at all… Speaking of Canada, my sister and her partner are heading over there tonight… with something stuck on their fingers.

European Union = Let it be known that once again, according to my list, Europe IS a country.

France = A big year for France, as Anthony Albanese paid the divorce fees for Scott Morrison welching on the submarines all those years ago, followed by crapping on Australia at the World Cup for the second time in 4 years, all the perfect build-up for the Rugby World Cup this year, followed by the Olympics.

Germany = Big step-up from the Germans this year, from 113 to 148 views, and it’s a shame their football team couldn’t step up like that in Qatar and get to the knockout stage, something a big footballing country like Australia managed to achieve.

Greece = Those views weren’t from Greece, they were from Stefanos Tsitsipas while he was in Melbourne last January.

India = There are several billion fans of Warnie and Andrew Symonds in India, and what a crushing couple of months it’s been since we lost both of them.

Ireland = After 17 years of waiting for someone to join Tadgh Kennelly, the Irishman from Ireland Zach Tuohy is an AFL Premiership player… so is Mark O’Connor

Jersey = It’s full of Italians and it has a Shore

Netherlands = Jumped up from 96 to 113, although it would’ve been appropriate if they’d finished on 146, which was Max Verstappen’s winning margin in the Formula One World Championship

Serbia = Viewings of Border Security peaked in Serbia in January of 2022.

Spain = They must love Australia after Rafa came back from here

South Africa = 35 views, which is still a higher score than most of their top order have managed against Australia during the current Test series.

Sri Lanka = Sri Lanka did this to Australia to win the 2nd Test in Galle back in July, while those protestors moved in to the President’s House in Colombo and took a crap in his pool

Zimbabwe = A big highlight involving Zimbabwe and Australia this year was when 82,507 fans packed out the MCG to watch Zimbabwe during the T20 World Cup… they were also there to watch India.

Turks and Caicos Islands = I think the British Government should offer the Turks and Caicos Islands to Rod Stewart, that way he can change their name to the Young Turks and Caicos Islands.

I still get a great thrill seeing all kinds of unique countries with a common interest in not understanding a thing I say… Thank you all!

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