Sydney, located next door to Atlantis

Alright folks it’s Good Friday, the one day of the year where we absolutely have to acknowledge the existence of our families, and fortunately Good Friday racing is well and truly taking off with Geelong, Canberra, Launceston, Kalgoorlie alongside the Ascot Good Friday program, now into its sixth year.

Of course, the main highlight of this weekend is Day 2 of the Championships, featuring the Australian Oaks, the Sydney Cup, the Queen of the Turf and the potential farewell to Australian racing for the great Anamoe in the Queen Elizabeth Stakes, as the Cox Plate winner goes for a record-tying 7th Group 1 this season, although he may not get that chance given Dubai Honour has come to the party from the UK, and Randwick is set to be somewhere around a Heavy 27.

Other than that, the feature race of the Perth autumn takes place in the form of the WATC Derby at Ascot, which is in Belmont, the Oakband races are on, although they’re a mere shadow of what they used to be without jumps racing in South Australia, Sandown hosts the Easter Cup meeting with Caulfield undergoing redevelopment, and there’s also the country cups:

The Dongara Cup, a couple of hundred KMs north of Perth, which will probably be attended by my neighbours

The Kerang Cup near the Loddon River in the frozen north of Victoria

And the Warracknabeal Cup in the northwest of Victoria, which will be attended by people that barely pass for human.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and my goodness me it was another heartbreaker last Saturday for Crazy Craig, as it looked like Super Smink was about to win the Gimcrack Stakes at Ascot, only for Live To Tell to come home 2 to everyone’s 1 and nail him 2 metres from the winning post.

Crazy Craig backing a winner on April Fool’s Day… I guess it really was a good April Fool’s Joke.

Anyway, here’s Elvis Presley to kick things off!

The Mull of Kintyre: Kintyre (No.5, Barrier 2) E/W in Race 1 at Randwick (SR1), 11:40am AEST

1600m 2YO Listed Fernhill Mile

Trainer: Gary Portelli, Jockey: Tyler Schiller (a), 57kg

Hello hello hello everyone it’s Craaaaaaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and after another miserable week of near-misses despite my scratchie donations to the down on their luck, I am straight back on the proverbial horse trying to improve myself, because I am nothing short of a LUNATIC, so much so that thanks to my crap run of form, Crazy Colin has tried distancing himself from yours truly, and wants to call himself Not-So Crazy Colin!

I had to tell him, “Colin, you deranged lunatic by association, LEOPARDS DO NOT CHANGE THEIR SPOTS!”

Now, this weekend we’ve got several Group 1s to try and find a winner, but everyone with half an iota knows that Crazy Craig and “Winner” don’t go together in the same sentence, so we’ll go to early in the Randwick card, where I’ve seen a horse at good odds that sounds like one of the greatest songs to contain bagpipes, alongside It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ’n’ Roll)….

KINTYRE!

He won the Paul Perry at Newcastle by a split lip, 2nd at Warwick Farm next start, so the form is there, so stuff the rest, all I’ll say is if you hear bagpipes coming from Royal Randwick at close to midday, you’ll know that KINTYRE is running well!

Mull of Kintyre
Oh, mist rolling in from the sea
My desire is always to be here
Oh, Mull of Kintyre!

P(r)ick No.2: Alcohol Free (No.1, Barrier 2) in the Queen of the Turf Stakes at Randwick (SR9), 4:35pm AEST

1600m Fillies & Mares WFA Group 1

Trainers: Gai Waterhouse & Adrian Bott, Jockey: James McDonald, 57kg

You know who won’t be backing Alcohol Free?

Homer Simpson!

P(r)ick No.3, the John Denver Pick: Awesome John (No.3, Barrier 8) in the WATC Derby at Ascot (PR6), 3:50pm AWST

2400m 3YO Set Weights Group 2

Trainer: John O’Shea, Jockey: William Pike, 56.5kg

On to Ascot, which is in Belmont, a glaring error that shows how inferior West Australians are at everything, and we have a very rare occurance of late in the WATC Derby, with a horse coming from OVER EAST to compete in the race, in the form of Awesome John, not named after his trainer, but instead after noted airline pilot John Denver, who competed in the Tulloch Stakes two weeks ago, finishing 3rd behind Tapildoodledo and eventual Derby winner Major Beel, which goes to show the form from that race is STANDING UP!

Of course, the big question is how well he’s going to handle the flight over plus the switch from clockwise to anti-clockwise, and he’s got some serious competition in the form of She’s Fit and Another Chino, both trained by one D.Morton, but at the end of the day, we have to remember the immortal words of another Awesome John….

Some days are diamonds, and some days are stone!

Some Days are Diamonds, some days are stone
Some time the hard times won’t leave me alone
Some times the cold winds blow a chill in my bones
Some days are diamonds, some days are stone!

And of course, if you’re Crazy Craig or Crazy Colin, most days aren’t even stone, they’re just shit!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, gamble within REASON, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!