Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Well friends, the peak of the Autumn is done, and I’d best start with a major development from late last Saturday afternoon…

CRAZY CRAIG ACTUALLY PICKED A WINNER LAST SATURDAY!

Awesome John in the WATC Derby, proving that as John Denver said, some days are diamonds and some days are stone, and in a very rare example for Crazy Craig, he produced a diamond.

So the highlights for this weekend are the final pair of Group 1s for the Sydney Autumn; the Champagne Stakes for the 2-year-olds, with 1600m proving the equivalent of a staying race for the juveniles, and the All-Aged Stakes over 1400m, which actually looks quite decent with the likes of Zaaki, Private Eye, Giga Kick, Cascadian, Roch ‘N’ Horse & Jacquinot all featuring in the field…

And it’s also a big weekend in Perth gambling, because not only is Crown not closing anytime soon despite their various forms of dodginess, it’s the weekend ofr running of the newly formed slot races, firstly The Nullarbor at Gloucester Park this evening, which could Nullar-bore you to tears…

And the feature event the next day, after the running of the Karrakatta Plate, is The Quokka at Ascot, which itself is located in Belmont, and they’ve actually managed to get some decent Eastern staters over for the race to tackle the Sandgropers, with Galaxy winner Uncommon James heading the list, alongside Bella Nipotina, ‘The Ferrari’ Kementari, Asfoora, Shades of Rose and Overpass all crossing over to have a crack at history.

Also, there’s some kind of Group 3 at Morphetville, making it the 10th most interesting thing to happen in South Australia this weekend, behind 8 out of the 9 games in Gather Round, excluding the Richmond vs Sydney game, and the late night drag racing in Port Adelaide.

Always a great night for the kids.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and I can’t tell him to pull his finger out of his crack and find us a winner sometime soon, because the lunatic actually did it last week, which means he’s more than earned his theme music for this week… Elvis Presley with one of his two songs about luck!

P(r)ick No.1: Vilana (No.1, Barrier 7) in Race 5 at Randwick (SR5), 1:55pm AEST

1200m Group 3 SWP TAB Hall Mark Stakes

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Nash Rawiller, 58kg

Hello hello everyone it’s Craaaaaazy Craig TBFB, and who’d have thought it, after some absolutely shitful performances on Saturday afternoon, the evening rolled around, Awesome John got the blows and he proceeded to absolutely crap it in!

Goes to show what you nuffies that call themselves experts know, you couldn’t even topple Craaaaaaaazy Craig!

Anyway, this weekend there’s still crap racing on that dungheap called Randwick, which never seems to get below a Soft rating, and I’m going to hang out for Race 5, the Hall Mark Stakes, which I used to think was named after the card company, but was named after the great horse Hall Mark, who won the AJC Derby, the VRC Derby and the Melbourne Cup as a 3-year-old, and that Cup win came despite being lame on the morning of the race!

It was different times back then… mainly because women were viewed as afterthoughts when it came to racing.

So when it comes the Hall Mark, I’ve gone for the horse that comes in 1st Up and ready to rip someone’s balls off, and that’s Godolphin’s No.1 seed Vilana!

Vilana…

Doesn’t he play rugby league for Penrith?

Apparently he now plays for Canterbury…

Wait a minute, when did he move to New Zealand?

P(r)ick No.2: D’jumbuck (No.6, Barrier 1) in Race 6 at Sandown (MR6), 3:30pm AEST

1200m 3YO VOBIS Gold Sprint

Trainer: Ooh Aah Brian McGrath, Jockey: Luke Nolen, 57kg

I think we’ve all heard the song at some point:

Down came a D’jumbuck to drink at that billabong,
Up jumped the swagman and backed him with glee!
And he sang as he shoved that D’jumbuck in his tucker bag,
“You’ll come a-waltzing Luke Nolen, with me!”

The James Blunt Pick: Uncommon James (No.4, Barrier 13) E/W in The Quokka at Ascot (PR7), 3:50pm AWST

1200m SWFA

Trainers: Steven O’Dea & Matthew Hoysted, Jockey: Ben Thompson, 58.5kg

I’ve backed Uncommon James several times under the guise of the Godfather of Soul James Brown, but the bastard didn’t run any good, then I get off him and he wins a Group 1!

So I figured I’ll try it again, this time with a different James, who may actually be alive this time….

JAMES BLUNT!

I shall now serenade Uncommon James…

You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful
You’re beautiful, it’s true!
I saw your face, in a betting place
And I don’t know what to do
‘Cause I’ll never win with youuuuuu!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, gamble within REASON, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!